


Pendulum

by KusanoSaku



Series: Starcrossed or not? [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ace Neville Can't Resist Luna's Cuteness Powers, Atypical Relationships, Body Dysphoria, Bullied Luna, Demiboy! Neville, Dumbledore Bashing, Dumbledore Being a Dick, Dumbledore is a Non-Binary-phobic shit who torments little girls for being different, F/M, Future mention of Dysphoria-related Self-Harm, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, GrAce Neville - Freeform, Greysexual Luna, Harry is oblivious but he cares, Healer Andromeda Tonks, Hermione is a Girl so duh her pronouns are She/Her/Hers, Hermione is such an awesome girl Dumbledore doesn't notice- at first, Hermione secretly loves Disney Princesses, Immaculate Conception - Pregnant Virgin, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Instead of Alternative Pronoun Days Neville has No Touch Days with the Ocassional Touch Days, Intersex Luna, Intersex Pregnancy, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Luna is a Fae-Faer-Faers kind of Girl, Luna is a cute little bunny that you just want to cuddle, Luna is a sweetheart, Magical Pregnancy, Mind Healer Ted Tonks, Nevile has a Patronus and its a Bear, Neville Becomes a Protective Bad Ass, Neville Prefers They-Them-Theirs Pronouns, Neville had Asperger's, Non-Binary Neville, Other, Outcast by Choice Neville, Outcast by Circumstance Neville, POV Luna Lovegood, POV Neville Longbottom, Prefect Luna Lovegood, Ron is a phobic oblivious douchebag, Seer Luna Lovegood, Self-Harming Hermione, Shotgun Wedding, Stealth Hermione, Swish, Teen Pregnancy, Temporary Female Pronouns for Luna, Trans Female Character, Transgirl Hermione, Umbridge is a bitch, Unplanned Pregnancy, Veela Luna Lovegood, Wandpoint Marriage, Xeno Lovegood is a Malfoy, non-binary characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-10-02 18:09:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10224062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KusanoSaku/pseuds/KusanoSaku
Summary: Background Characters from the Star-crossed Universe discover their place on the sexuality/gender spectrum or as one calls it- the Pendulum. Will be told in looong one-shot revolving around a single character or a pair of characters





	1. They and Fae - Neville and Luna pt1

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at writing non-binary characters with gender-neutral pronouns. Neville is initially mis-pronouned/gendered because they don't speak up. No one is misgendering them on purpose. Luna will be bullied because that's canon and this series is considered mostly canon until Harry has his vision during Divination and does not go off the deep end.

Fae and they- Luna and Neville

 

 

Ne was always dressed in clothes that weren’t like mummy or daddy’s…

 

“Who is our special Veela?” Daddy said spinning them around.

 

“Me!” ne laughed.

 

“Were you good for mummy?”

 

“Always Xeno, our little Veela is always good.”

 

“Why mummy en daddy wear diffent clothes?” Ne asked.

 

“Well Mummy is a girl and Daddy is a boy.” Mummy said after a bit of silence.

 

“What ne?”

 

“Ne is special. Ne can be anything ne wants to be.” Daddy said spinning ne around.

 

“Ne wants be pretty…” Ne said brightly.

 

“Pretty like mummy?” daddy asked.

 

“Maybe…” Ne agreed.

 

“Okay, ne can be a girl if ne likes. Ne can be a boy if ne likes. Ne can be anything ne wants.” Mummy said before kissing ne’s forehead.

 

XooooooX

 

Growing up with only Gran, Neville did notice they weren’t exactly like their cousins.

 

They didn’t act or feel like a boy; at least not the way that Oliver, Marcus, Jacob and Maury were. They didn’t feel like a girl either; Faye felt middle sometimes but Tamsym and Demelza were girls…

 

Being called a boy sometimes felt wrong, they didn’t understand and gran didn’t usually take the time.

 

Neville just wanted to be liked and accepted for being them.

 

It upset everyone when Neville dodged touches but it was blamed on the time that Neville was knocked off the pier here in Tinworth or out the window because Marcus and Oliver were wrestling. Their relatives thought it was just to avoid being hurt but Neville really didn’t like it. It was easier to handle soil on their skin then human touch, Neville preferred the company of plants to people and was always being chided for spending too much time in the greenhouse or the conservatory alone but it was where they felt the most free.

 

XooooooX

 

 

Ne had counseling with a former schoolmate of their parents; the older ne was, the more ne was told about how special nir body was.

 

After discussing pronouns and gender identities with Healer Ted, as well as what names had to do with gender presentation, ne decided at age five that ne was definitely a girl. As well as a preference for ungendered pronouns but not the ones that ne’s parents picked. They had tried but it wasn’t quite right…

 

Their favorite was fae, faer, fae’s and faerself but they would accept she, her, hers and herself…

 

With faer parents and Healer Ted’s assistance, fae picked out the prettiest name.

 

Luna because the moon was so beautiful plus it was the name of a famous witch worshiped as a god by Muggles just like Mummy’s name Demeter.

 

Avalon was because it was pretty, fae liked apples and it was a faerie name…

 

So, their name was officially registered as Luna Avalon Lovegood when they were five…

 

XooooooX

 

Luna was hungry and skipped into Rook’s Folly to ask mummy about a snack when fae heard an unfamiliar voice talking.

 

“You won’t consider sending it,”

 

“Our daughter is not an it, Headmaster! It’s bad enough what you put Eddy Bones through but you won’t be doing that to our daughter.” Daddy huffed.

 

“It is unhealthy to expose impressionable children with persons outside the binary.” The unfamiliar voice of the Headmaster sniffed.

 

“Luna is special because fae isn’t binary, fae aren’t one or the other physically.” Mummy said sternly.

 

“Fine, you won’t consider sending _her_ to Beauxbatons?”

 

“I don’t understand why fae can’t attend Hogwarts, fae is a girl.”

 

“She will just confuse everyone, we have Muggleborns!”

 

“They have to learn sometimes; the magical world is a diverse place.” Mummy seemed stubborn.

 

“Your daughter may only attend as long as you agree that _she_ will act like a girl, be treated like a girl and accept female pronouns.”

 

“Okay.” Luna said poking faer head inside daddy’s office.

 

“Are you sure Luna?” Mummy asked.

 

Luna just nodded.

 

“The moment she acts other than feminine or changes her mind about being a girl, she is no longer welcome at Hogwarts.” The Headmaster said rudely before they stalked off and daddy escorted them to the floo.

 

Mummy sighed and held out a hand to faer, “Are you sure this is what you want Luna?”

 

“I’m a girl, why is that so hard?” Luna asked with faer bottom lip trembling.

 

“Some people are so obsessed with gender and gender roles that they fail to consider individual realities.”

 

“Why do I have to hide being me?” fae asked softly.

 

“Because some people just don’t care to see beyond the surface or prefer to see only what makes them comfortable…”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Someday Luna, someone will see just how special you are…”

 

XooooooX

 

Neville was still struggling…

 

Despite Oliver’s attempts to teach them to fly or include them, Neville just didn’t feel comfortable.

 

Neville hated heights, possible a result of falling out of a second-floor window when they were three. Water was fine unless there was a lot of it, they disliked bathes, ponds, lakes and the sea…

 

Neville wasn’t really looking forward to going to Hogwarts, their anxiety made them forgetful which meant that gran was always lecturing them about appropriate behavior for the heir apparent to the Longbottom estate.

 

All they cared about was their plants because they didn’t have any expectations…

 

XooooooX

 

Neville ended up sitting in Oliver and Percy’s compartment on the train.

 

They never really announced their dislike for he, him and his…

 

They were barely eleven and had been lost in a sea of cousins despite being raised by their gran.

 

The truth was that they felt very ‘third person’ if you will.

 

Neville was a klutz because of their anxiety, so it wasn’t all that surprising that they fell out of the boat reaching for Trevor who was almost as touching phobic as themself.

 

Neville about sobbed when they were sorted into Gryffindor; it was a _tower_ , they hated heights.

 

But at least they would be with Oliver so they knew somebody.

 

Oliver introduced them to his Quidditch friends, pointed out the professors and personally escorted them to the _tower_. Neville’s hell away from home for the next seven years, unless they flunked out…

 

XooooooX

 

The only reason Neville didn’t flunk out was because his dreadful Potions grade was offset by their Outstanding marks in Herbology.

 

They were still not looking forward to another year in the Tower… how much the reason they didn’t have friends was because of how their dormmates synced with each other  or how disconnected Neville felt with other boys, they didn’t know.

 

When the Heir started attacking people, Neville was starting to fell all the more unworthy because they felt different from everyone around them. Comments about being an ‘almost squib’ was a euphemism for ‘I’m different, it terrifies me and makes my anxiety worse’.

 

XooooooX

 

Luna spent much of the year before Hogwarts practicing fem mannerisms and trying to train faer… herself out of using non-binary pronouns.

 

This subverting of their identity was not encouraged by Healer Ted and Healer Andromeda who took care of faer… her body was still holding off on potions to adjust Luna’s hormones. Healer Andromeda wanted to see if Luna would develop physically as a female before doing anything rash. Healer Andromeda had also refused to advise Luna’s parents to decide Luna’s gender for … her. Being someone who both Healers Tonks described as intersex made them special and they wanted … her to be comfortable in… her body.

 

Relearning descriptive pronouns to be allowed to attend… her parents’ former school and to act according to… her preferred gender identity, was more difficult than Luna imagined.

 

Though Luna had always had dreams and visions about things that could happen…

 

When Luna tried to fix bad things, something worse always happened.

 

Luna kept… her favorite unicorn from eating something bad and getting sick only to hear an explosion not long after.

 

Luna screamed and ran back towards the Folly.

 

To… her horror… she found mummy injured in some type of Charms accident. While mummy loved the unicorns that daddy gave her, mummy was a spellcrafter. Something bad happened, was it… her fault for not letting something bad happen to Yuki? If Yuki had gotten sick, Luna would have called for mummy and mummy wouldn’t be hurt.

 

The loss would haunt Luna…

 

XooooooX

 

Luna didn’t know how anyone found out… she was so _careful_.

 

Luna showered at odd hours, was never naked and was as feminine as possible.

 

The name calling came first; freak and then Loony because it was close to Luna. Almost no one but the professors called…her by pronouns and there was soft sniggering when… her name was called as ‘Miss Lovegood’ but never where the professors could hear it.

 

Eventually it progressed to having… her things stolen.

 

Luna was frightened of telling anyone for fear that Dumbledore would blame… her and have… her expelled. Daddy was broken since Mummy died and Luna didn’t want to cause daddy any pain so… she lied and claimed to be happy and enjoying school.

 

The only abuse really came from… her own dormmates.

 

If they didn’t know she was a pureblood, then they would have wished that… she was a possible target for the Heir of Slytherin. Yet when the news came in that their pureblood sixth year Ravenclaw prefect was attacked, it was obvious that they would rather it was … herself instead of Penelope Clearwater.

 

Luna was lonely… she buried herself in her studies and ended up top of her year followed by the other outcasts Colin Creevey and Mal Prewett. Rumor had it that Prewett was bullied too but Luna was too mistreated to trust anyone…

 

XooooooX

 

They were nervous, Oliver had given them some advice on electives so they choose Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies. Mostly because they rarely required any group work…

 

Neville was just glad to have this year over with and that they hadn’t be targeted because they were different.

 

Between their anxiety and their rotten luck; a sprained wrist from flying lessons, boils from an exploded potion, being petrified all night by Hermione, being knocked unconscious by the wail of an immature mandrake and being hung on a chandelier by pixies had made the last two years memorable in an unpleasant way.

 

They doubted it would get any better.

 

XooooooX

 

Luna was surprised to find… her missing things but they were in odd places. One of her textbooks was found in the basin of a toilet, her shoes were hanging from a light fixture, someone hung her cloak like a tapestry.

 

Luna was just grateful to have it all back. Maybe… she should consider transferring…

 

But mummy was so happy about Luna possibly being a Ravenclaw and mummy argued to give her a chance, that Luna didn’t want to disappoint her parents even if mummy was gone…

 

XooooooX

 

They ended up with a really awesome Defence teacher this year who included Luna in his lessons and gave her points. That was something that only Professor Flitwick did for… her.

 

Luna thought their shy professor was really awesome and looked forward to learning from him, Lupin was so much cooler than Lockhart.

 

Luna almost had a crush on Professor Lupin, she just hoped to find someone just as wonderful.

 

XooooooX

 

Neville was still an outsider, Oliver was drowning in NEWT courses and Neville would have liked Defence if they hadn’t been given first chance at the boggart their first practical lesson and inadvertently earned Snape’s eternal hatred. Since their first practical defence lesson, Neville’s anxiety had gotten worse, so that even with a few sips of calming draught, they regularly went to pieces in lessons.

 

Without Hermione, who tried to help because she felt guilt about petrifying them- she had attempted to apologize, Neville was certain that Trevor would have been poisoned. Granted they lost points because she helped them but they were glad Trevor was okay even if his toad preferred to avoid them.

 

Sirius Black was a constant topic of conversation around them, having the escaped murderer Sirius Black appearing and disappearing didn’t help.

 

Neville was completely freaked, preferring to sleep on the couch in Percy’s Head Boy suite after Sirius Black carved up Ron’s curtains with a knife.

 

XooooooX

 

Aside from the new material taught in class, this year ended just the same with Luna’s belongings reappearing in ridiculous and seemingly random places.

 

Luna wished they would stop, she couldn’t help being different and this mistreatment wouldn’t change anything.

 

At least during the summer, she would be away from bullies.

 

Even her year mate Ginny, would never try to visit…

 

The girl became more isolated after her misadventure last year in the Chamber and despite living in the same village they had never been close.

 

XooooooX

 

Aside from learning what the Unforgivables looked like when used and being bullied to attend the Yule Ball by Gran, which resulted in taking Ginny. They had asked Hermione first but was told that she already had a date, so Ginny invited herself as their date. It was awkward, Neville could barely talk and between the dance lessons and now forced dancing, Neville was miserable. Ginny bullied them to dance and spent the entire time watching Harry.

 

Eventually, Neville excused themself and never came back.

 

Watching Harry in the Tournament wouldn't have been so bad if he weren’t doing dangerous things like facing dragons or diving into icy water.

 

When the Third Task ended up a disaster with Delacour froze, Krum Imperioed, Diggory dead and Harry broken; Neville was just glad it was all over.

 

Their marks were a bit better, they at least passed.

 

 


	2. They and Fae - Neville and Luna pt2

Neville had just discovered there were no empty carriages when they met up with Harry and Ginny. They nervously informed them of this only to have Ginny scoff at them.

 

“What are you talking about?” said Ginny, who had squeezed past Neville to peer into the compartment behind him.  “There’s room in this one, there’s only Loony Lovegood in here —”

 

Neville was surprised when they were essentially asked to sit with Harry and well, Ginny too.

 

Neville mumbled, “I don’t want to disturb anyone.”

 

“Don’t be silly,” said Ginny, laughing unkindly, “she’s all right.”

 

Ginny slid the door open and pulled her trunk inside while Harry and Neville followed anxiously.

 

Ginny entered without knocking, dragging her trunk and asked with complete confidence that she wouldn’t be refused. “Hi, Loouna, is it okay if we take these seats?”

 

Inside the train compartment, they saw a beautifully odd blonde witch who read upside down and wore pink glasses.

 

When Neville saw their face, they nearly dropped their trunk on their foot having Trevor in their pocket under a sticking charm.

 

This Luna had stuck her wand behind her left ear for safekeeping. She was the most unique and beautiful person Neville had ever seen. They didn’t mind at all that that she had chosen to wear a necklace of Butterbeer corks or that she was reading **The Quibbler** magazine upside-down. Her eyes ranged over Neville, who flushed in embarrassment before they came to rest on Harry. She nodded.

 

“Thanks,” Ginny said smirking at her.

 

Harry and Neville stowed the three trunks and Hedwig’s cage in the luggage rack and sat down.

 

‘Luna’ watched them over her upside-down magazine, which was called The Quibbler. She did not seem to need to blink as much as most people having a very owl like gaze as if she saw right through you. She stared and stared at Harry, who had taken the seat opposite her.

 

“Had a good summer, Luna?” Ginny asked with reluctance

 

“Yes,” said Luna dreamily, without taking her eyes off Harry. “Yes, it was quite enjoyable. You know, you’re Harry Potter.” she added.

 

“I know I am,” said Harry.

 

Neville chuckled only to have Luna turned her silver-lavender eyes on him instead.

 

“And I don’t know who you are.”

 

“I’m nobody,” said Neville hurriedly.

 

“No, you’re not,” said Ginny sharply. “Neville Longbottom - Luna Lovegood. Luna’s in my year, but in Ravenclaw.”

 

“Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure,” said Luna in a singsong voice before raising her upside-down magazine high enough to hide her face and fell silent.

 

She didn’t make the three leave but she obviously wasn’t comfortable with people any more than they were. For the first time _ever,_ Neville had found someone intriguing…

 

XooooooX

 

Luna had sensed rather than heard someone pacing anxiously outside in the corridor, they were surprised when Ginny Weasley, the girl in her year who was also from Ottery St. Catchpole breezed in and asked if they could share her compartment.

 

The look in the Gryffindor witch’s eyes didn’t really give Luna a choice. It wasn’t until she looked at the two shy wizards following Ginny that Luna agreed.

 

One was Harry Potter of course and the other intrigued her, they were the one who was clearly too shy to ask to share her compartment.

 

Ginny introduced them and clearly was trying for someone’s attention when she shut down the boy with the funny plant’s attempt at self-deprecation.

 

They, Neville were far more interesting than Ginny or Harry. The way they looked at her didn’t make Luna uncomfortable or fearful but rather shy and nervous.

 

Neville did seem to be talking to her rather than about her…

 

Plucking out an odd plant that they claimed to have gotten for their birthday.

 

“It’s a Mimbulus mimbletonia, it’s really, really rare,” said Neville, beaming. “I don’t know if there’s one in the greenhouse at Hogwarts, even. I can’t wait to show it to Professor Sprout. My Great Uncle Algie got it for me in Assyria. I’m going to see if I can breed from it.”

 

Neville proceeded to attempt to show off it’s ‘amazing defensive mechanism’ by poking it with a quill after placing their toad- how eccentric! In Harry’s lap.

 

The result would have made Luna giggle if it weren’t for poor Neville’s embarrassment.

 

Liquid squirted from every boil on the plant; thick, stinking, dark green jets of it. They hit the ceiling, the windows, and spattered Luna’s magazine; Ginny, who had flung her arms up in front of her face just in time, merely looked as though she was wearing a slimy green hat, but Harry, whose hands had been busy preventing Trevor’s escape, received a faceful.

 

The sap smelled like unicorn manure in the summertime.

 

Neville looked like they wanted to fall through the floorboards of their compartment, they had been struck first and copiously. Their face and torso were also drenched, he shook his head to get the worst out of his eyes.

 

“S - sorry,” he gasped. “I haven’t tried that before… didn’t realize it would be quite so… don’t worry, though, Stinksap’s not poisonous,” he added nervously,

 

Harry spat a mouthful on to the floor just as the compartment door opened.

 

Oh no, not an eagle!

 

Luna cowered, Cho Chang; the prettiest Ravenclaw and two years ahead of her, was her House’s Seeker.

 

“Oh… hi,” said Harry blankly.

 

“Um…” said Cho. “Well… just thought I’d say hello… bye then.” Rather pink in the face, she closed the door and departed.

 

Harry slumped back in his seat and groaned.

 

Ginny chose to ‘come to the rescue’.

 

“Never mind,” said Ginny bracingly. “Look, we can easily get rid of all this.” She pulled out her wand. “Scourgify!”

 

The Stinksap vanished but left Luna’s person and belongings last as if she were merely an afterthought.

 

After that, they settled into awkward silence.

 

XooooooX

 

Eventually, Harry’s usual shadows Hermione and Ron appeared with their prefect badge shining on their chests.

 

Hermione and Ron complained about the other prefects making Neville feel uncomfortable. He chose to move to the floor after they’d come in away.

 

Neville blinked when Luna spoke up.

 

“You went to the Yule Ball with Padma Patil.”

 

Everyone turned to look at Luna Lovegood, who was gazing unblinkingly at Ron over the top of **The Quibbler**.

 

He swallowed his mouthful of Frog. “Yeah, I know I did.”

 

“She didn’t enjoy it very much,” Luna informed him. “She doesn’t think you treated her very well, because you wouldn’t dance with her. I don’t think I’d have minded,” she added

thoughtfully, “I don’t like dancing very much.” Then she retreated behind **The Quibbler** again.

 

Neville felt awful when Ron and Ginny seemed bemused by the girl. They were so glad that they weren’t actually friends with them…

 

They hadn’t enjoyed the Ball either and had bene glad to escape.

 

Ron was pleased that he could bully people and take points while Hermione who seemed to be trying to talk very quietly admonished him about abusing his position.

 

Conversation eventually died out again, whether it was because Harry wasn’t comfortable around themself or Luna, Neville didn’t know but they were glad for the silence.

 

XooooooX

 

Neville was surprised when Harry freaked out about the ‘horses’ pulling the carriages.

 

Ron and Hermione acted as if he were mental.

 

Before Neville could speak up and admit that he too could see them, Luna spoke.

 

“It’s all right, you’re not going mad or anything. I can see them, too.”

 

“Can you?” Harry asked desperately, turning to Luna.

 

Neville could see the bat-winged horses reflected in her wide lavender-silver eyes.

 

“Oh, yes,” said Luna, “I’ve been able to see them ever since my first day here. They’ve always pulled the carriages. Don’t worry. You’re just as sane as I am.”

 

Smiling faintly, she climbed into the musty interior of the carriage.

 

Neville was even more intrigued by her.

 

XooooooX

 

Neville had a sixth sense for Luna since they spent the train ride to Hogwarts together.

 

They were headed to the Greenhouse to show off their Mimbulus mimbletonia to Professor Sprout when they spotted Luna being shoved into the lake and her book bag tossed in a tree.

 

For some reason, it pissed them off and they stalked over, “See here you lot. Clear off right now before I get Professor Sprout.”

 

“It’s just Loony, why do you even care?”

 

“I don’t like bullies so clear off, all of you. Now.”

 

The crowd scurried off, clearly not interested in having to defend their actions to a professor.

 

Neville glowered at them until they vanished into the castle. Once they were alone, Neville set their plant down and knelt at the shoreline to hold out their hand. They hated large bodies of water but this girl, Luna made them want to be brave.

 

To their shock, she cringed, “Please…don’t touch me…”

 

“It’s chilly, you can’t stay in the lake so let me help you up. You can have my robe until you warm up. I know it’s long but it should help. I’m heading to the greenhouses, you can warm up there. We don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to.”

 

“I can’t start trouble.”

 

Neville frowned, “It didn’t look like you started anything.” Still stubbornly holding their hand out.

 

“You don’t understand if I get in any trouble, I’ll be expelled.” The girl sounded close to tears.

 

“You barely even _speak_ ; how could you possibly cause trouble?” Neville asked incredulously.

 

“Because I’m me… I’m not like the other girls… I’m different and it makes them want to hurt me…”

 

Neville blinked, “I’m not like other boys…”

 

“Really?” she whispered, “You’re not just saying that?”

 

“Tell you what, you let me help you out of the lake and I’ll tell you what I mean.” Neville offered.

 

Luna chewed on her lip and then placed her small hand in his.

 

Neville gently pulled her up and backed away from the lake before wrapping their robe around her. “We’re lucky it’s a brisk day, we should be safe but I know that Professor Sprout won’t be in the greenhouse we use as First years right now. We can talk there.” Neville said as they retrieved their plant.

 

Despite not liking to be touched or to touch, Neville kept a sheltering arm around the girl’s trembling shoulders.

 

Once they were in the greenhouse, Neville lifted her up onto the table after setting their Mimbulus mimbletonia.

 

After sitting near her, Neville blushed wringing their hands, “Hi… I’m Neville Longbottom. I’m not quite a boy so I prefer to use ambiguous pronouns like they, them and theirs…”

 

She blinked, “Ambiguous pronouns? Is that like non-gender?”

 

“What’s that?” Neville frowned.

 

Luna giggled, “It means someone who doesn’t feel male or female, fem or masc all the time.” Then she hung her heard, “I used to use non-gen pronouns. My earliest memories were being addressed with ne, nem and nir. When I was older, I decided I liked fae, faer and faerself best.”

 

“Why would you need non-gender pronouns?”

 

“Because I wasn’t born a proper girl,” Luna winced, “or a proper boy. I’m a mix. Healer Andromeda calls that intersex.”

 

Neville’s eyes widened, “You know Aunt Annie? She’s my godmother…”

 

“Really?” Luna said taking their hands.

 

Neville flinched.

 

Luna frowned, “Did I do something wrong?”

 

Neville bit their lip, “I don’t like to be touched…”

 

Luna gasped, “Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean,”

 

“Relax.” Neville sighed, “My cousins do it all the time. Only Oliver, Nimue and Eron care to notice.”

 

“Oliver?” Luna asked shyly.

 

“Yes, the Quidditch mad former Gryffindor House captain is my cousin. Not close cousin, he is Great-Uncle Algie’s grandson…”

 

“Eron Wood?”

 

“He’s in Ravenclaw I think…”

 

“Oh… I don’t really know them.”

 

“I don’t really know anyone in my House either,” Neville shrugged. “I sort of keep to myself.”

 

“That’s so sad…”

 

“So is being bullied…” Neville muttered awkwardly.

 

“I’m lucky I was allowed to come here at all. My being both and neither was supposedly going to confuse the Muggleborns. I had to promise to be all girl…”

 

Neville gaped. “You had to give up your pronouns?”

 

“I spent a whole year practicing not to use fae and faer…”

 

“Who decided that?”

 

“The Headmaster, they found out I wasn’t a real girl,”

 

Neville held up a hand, “I know you like fae and faer but are you a girl?”

 

Luna nodded, her… no faer face filled with pain.

 

“Then you _are_ a real girl. If anyone tells you different, you come find me. You’re such a tiny cute girl, I bet you could hide under my robes and no one would notice….” Neville said stubbornly.

 

“You think… I’m cute?”

 

“I think you are the most beautiful girl…”

 

Luna’s face turned cherry pink. “You must be exaggerating to make me feel better.”

 

Neville chose to take faer hand, “I mean it. I promise not to say things I don’t mean. When you are with me, you can have your fae and faer.”

 

“Then I’ll give you your they and their…”

 

The two outcasts shook on it.

 

Luna let go of Neville’s hand but clutched their sleeve like a lifeline.

 

There was something so fragile about Luna that it made them want to protect faer…

 

They sat there in the warmth of the greenhouse in companionable silence, until it was time for dinner.

 

By then Luna was dry and handed back Neville’s robe.

 

Neville had missed out on meeting with Professor Sprout but found they didn’t really mind.

 

XooooooX

 

That time at the lake wasn’t the last time that Neville ‘saved’ Luna from being bullied.

 

They found faer being chased out of the girls’ loo by insults.

 

Neville led faer by the hand to the usually closed haunted loo, “Go on, I’ll keep watch…”

 

Luna squeezed their hand and slipped inside.

 

When Luna returned, fae looked as if fae’d stopped crying and had washed faer face after doing usual bathroom stuff.

 

It was lunch time but Neville didn’t feel like subjecting Luna to the Great Hall.

 

They found a quiet alcove and Neville asked their elf for some lunch.

 

It was sometime before Luna spoke.

 

“Thank you. You don’t always have to save me but thank you…”

 

“I wanted to. It makes me so mad when people mistreat you…”

 

Luna smiled at them shyly, “You’re so sweet.”

 

“You’re beautiful when you smile…”

 

Luna blushed, “Thank you…”

 

They were interrupted by the house elf with their lunch.

 

Neville ended up escorting faer to class and glowering at faer classmates before handing Luna faer bag.

 

Luna thanked them again before slipping to class.

 

XooooooX

 

Luna spent a lot of time with Neville, either because they rescued faer or because they met up purposely.

 

There was some taunting about her ‘boyfriend’ or that she was tricking Neville by pretending to be a ‘real girl’.

 

Every time, faer just repeated in faer head that Neville said they were a real girl.

 

Despite knowing that Neville didn’t like to be touched, Luna wanted the feel of their arms around faer and dreamt of their kisses.

 

When faer dormmates all came down with their moon times at the same time, faer sought out Neville. The girls were too distracted to mistreat faer then but Luna hated lying, faking a menstrual cycle that faer had never had was difficult.

 

“Dark moon?” Neville asked quietly.

 

Fae nodded faer head, that had become a code between them. It was dark moon because that was when faer dysphoria really hit, Healer Andromeda still was resistant about letting her take Oestrogen boosting potions. The healer kept hoping that faer body would produce it on its own…

 

Neville had read every book fae recommended to help them understand…

 

Luna had requested some books to help Neville figure out how to describe themself. It was the least fae could do…

 

Luna was clingier on dark moon days and Neville just went with it, they never shamed faer or pushed faer away. Sometimes, Neville even hugged faer…

 

Hugging wasn’t culturally common outside of relationships like dating but Neville seemed to sense when fae needed the extra comfort.

 

It was that which pushed faer into a deep affection much like a crush…

 

Fae had never been interested in anyone, had never made a friend but here was Neville whom fae met by chance and had become not only a friend but a protector.

 

“You’re okay, you’re beautiful and you’re a real girl…” Neville whispered in faer ear.

 

Luna repeated their words. What would fae do without them?

 

XooooooX

 

The more time Neville spent with Luna, the closer they felt.

 

Oliver had tried to describe how he felt about Percy once and Neville couldn’t picture it, their usual nature of being uncomfortable with physical contact had made them sure they would never want that.

 

Luna was such a beautiful, kind _girl_ and it upset them dreadfully to see faer cry, if Neville didn’t rescue faer from an abusive situation, Luna found them.

 

Outside of classes, they were inseparable. The more time they spent with faer, the more that fae was on their mind.

 

Sometimes, Neville even wondered what it would be like to kiss faer. Would fae let them? Sex was still something that didn’t feel possible for them but they wanted to kiss and cuddle Luna sometimes…

 

They found themself drowning in those silver-lavender eyes or wanting to touch faer’s blonde hair…

 

When they found out that fae had never been to Hogsmeade, Neville begged for their company. Neville always went alone and wanted to make faer smile…

 

Especially when even Umbridge seemed to despise faer…

 

So, Neville found themself pacing by the front doors of the castle waiting for Luna.

 

To their horror, fae showed up without _shoes_ …

 

“Those beasts! They took your shoes?”

 

Luna shrugged, “It happens. I always find my things in June.”

 

Ignoring the rule about no magic in the corridor, Neville growled, “Accio Luna’s shoes.”

 

Luna was bemused and stunned when they appeared.

 

Neville knelt and put on faer shoes, to faer’s embarrassment.

 

“Now, we can go.” Hanging out of their sleeve was a blue satin ribbon.

 

Luna gaped, “You want me to…”

 

“Please?”

 

The two outcasts left for their _non-date­_ together, ignoring the other students.

 

They and fae explored the book shop, **Tomes and Scrolls** before picking up more parchment and quills. Neville nearly lost or broke all of theirs by the time Hogsmeade weekend came along.

 

Luna was very shy, hardly speaking at all when Neville led faer into **Honeydukes** when they introduced faer to choco-balls, sugar quills and other various sweets but primarily chocolate. One, because Neville enjoyed it themself and supposedly, girls liked chocolate.

 

They left with a bag of sweets to share when Neville noticed Gryffindors heading for **The Hogs Head**.

 

“Bloody hell…”

 

“Neville?” Luna asked softly, “What’s wrong?”

 

“I forgot that Hermione told me about a defence study group… Umbridge is a terrible teacher. We aren't learning anything and she is the smartest in our year…”

 

“Do you like her?” Luna blurted out.

 

“What? Godric’s sword, no. She helps me out sometimes. It’s guilt. She cast the petrificus totalus on my one night first year and I was stuck cursed until my cousin came into the common room the next morning. It’s impossible to sleep when you’re under that curse…”

 

“She feels… different like us.” Luna murmured.

 

Neville didn’t understand, nor did they really care to. “Do you mind if we sat in on her meeting? I said I’d think about it…”

 

“I’ll come…” Luna smiled weakly up at them.

 

Still clutching the ribbon tied to their wrist, the two outcasts entered **The Hogs Head** together.

They were nearly overrun by a bunch of kids from Neville’s Year; while Ginny and the Creevey brothers were the only others from the younger years who were invited. There was also a member of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team including the Weasley twins and their friend Lee Jordan.

 

Harry seemed stunned as if he hadn’t quite expected so many while Ron was asked to find more chairs.

 

Fred the show-off, counted them all loudly and then ordered twenty-five butterbeers before informing them to cough up to pay for their own drink.

 

Fred blinked at them when Neville pressed the cost of two butterbeers into his hand before nudging Luna aside by walking and tugging on the ribbon in faer hand.

 

Their blonde companion/friend stayed close so that the ribbon wasn’t _seen_. It wasn’t that they or fae were embarrassed by its existence but neither was keen on explaining.

 

Neville ended up in a seat next to a still-shocked Harry with Luna beside them and beamed at him, “Hi, Harry.”

 

Harry seemed unable to speak and Neville left it alone.

 

Cho Chang seemed overly interested in Harry but the looks she gave Luna were no more kind then the ones from Ginny.

 

Neville wondered if those two were among the girls who chased Luna out of the loo that time.

 

Luna stared dreamily into space, likely enjoying being in their company despite being surrounded by people fae didn’t know or had probably bullied faer.

 

Hermione welcomed them, talked about her idea for a club/study group to practice defence since Umbridge wasn’t teaching it properly. Her voice was very quiet, almost as quiet as Luna’s…

 

What did Luna mean by ‘she feels like us’?

 

Michael Corner, a Ravenclaw from Neville’s year seemed to be a sort of spokesman, “You want to pass your Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL too, though, I bet?”

 

Hermione agreed and then stammered out that Voldemort was back.

 

Neville yelped slightly but turned it into a cough when Luna didn’t react at all, they silently tilted their head at Michael and raised an eyebrow.

 

Fae must had realised that they were asking if Michael was a tormentor…

 

Luna slowly moved faer right hand that held the ribbon, right and then left as if to say ‘no’.

 

Neville blinked once in understanding.

 

Zacharias Smith bullied Harry into actually talking.

 

Neville was nearly certain that Hufflepuffs only came to hear how Diggory _really died_ from Harry…

 

“What makes me say You-Know-Who’s back?” Harry repeated, looking Zacharias straight in the face. “I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn’t believe him, you won’t believe me, and I’m not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone.”

 

Zacharias said dismissively, “All Dumbledore told us last year was that Cedric Diggory got killed by You-Know-Who and that you brought Diggory’s body back to Hogwarts. He didn’t give us details, he didn’t tell us exactly how Diggory got murdered, I think we’d all like to know,”

 

“If you’ve come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort murders someone I can’t help you,” Harry said without taking his eyes from Zacharias’ face and was studiously ignoring Cho Chang. “I don’t want to talk about Cedric Diggory, alright? So, if that’s what you’re here for, you might as well clear out.”

 

Then Harry cast an angry look in Hermione’s direction, she flinched and then stuck her chin up in response.

 

But despite Harry’s ultimatum, Neville noticed that no one left their seats, not even Zacharias Smith, though he continued to glower intensely at Harry.

 

Hermione’s voice was nervously high-pitched, almost oddly when she spoke again. “So… like I was saying… if you want to learn some defence, then we need to work out how we’re going to do it, how often we’re going to meet and where we’re going to -”

 

Luna who had faer hair plaited in a braid hanging down faer back because of the wind, spoke up interrupting. “Is it true,” fae paused to regain faer courage, “that you can produce a Patronus?”

 

Neville had mentioned that they had seen Harry produce it not only during that Quidditch match but also during their final Defence exams third year.

 

This caused a murmur to flow through the group.

 

A strawberry blonde witch in Hufflepuff robes, repeated Luna’s question after Harry’s annoyed affirmative answer. “A corporeal Patronus?”

 

“Er - you don’t know Madam Bones, do you?” Harry asked frowning.

 

The girl smiled. “She’s my auntie, I’m Susan Bones. She told me about your hearing. So - is it really true? You have a stag Patronus?”

 

“Yes,” said Harry.

 

“Blimey, Harry!” Lee Jordan looked deeply impressed. “I never knew that!”

 

“Mum told Ron not to spread it around,” Fred grinned at Harry. “She said you got enough attention as it was.”

 

“She’s not wrong,” Harry mumbled, and a couple of people laughed.

 

Terry Bott, another Ravenclaw who rarely spoke asked about Harry having killed a basilisk, apparently, they heard it from a portrait.

 

Neville blurted out, “And in our first year, he saved that Sorcerous Stone -”

 

Hermione hissed a correction, “Sorcerer’s,”

 

Neville waved their free hand dismissively, “Yes that, from You-Know-Who.”

 

Luna stiffened beside them when Cho Chang began to praise Harry referring to the Triwizard last year.

 

Neville could tell that Luna really didn’t like Chang, they shifted slightly so their cloak covered Luna’s hand and squeezed it briefly.

 

Harry protested that he wasn’t that special, claiming he always had help and it was just luck…

 

Then Michael Corner praised how he faced the Horntail and Susan Bones mentioned Dementors over the summer causing Luna to gasp with horror only for Harry to acknowledge that sometimes he was successful on his own.

 

Zacharias taunted Harry, “Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?”

 

Ron’s voice was dark with the promise of violence, causing Luna to lean closer to Neville.

 

“Here’s an idea, why don’t you shut your mouth?”

 

Zacharias defiantly accused Harry of trying to refuse to teach them, causing Fred and George to come to Harry’s defence.

 

Then came the issue of scheduling so it didn’t conflict with Quidditch practice since a number of them including Chang played for their house.

 

Ernie Macmillan surprisingly spoke up agreeing with Hermione about learning to defend themselves from Death Eaters while ignoring their sulking fellow Hufflepuff house mate who was still upset because Harry wouldn’t tell them how Diggory died. Ernie even complained that Umbridge was useless and was outright sabotaging them.

 

“We think the reason Umbridge doesn’t want us trained in Défense Against the Dark Arts,” Hermione said, “is that she’s got some… some mad idea that Dumbledore could use the students in the school as a kind of private army. She thinks he’d mobilize us against the Ministry.”

 

Neville wasn’t the only one surprised when Luna piped up from beside them.

 

“Well, that makes sense. After all, Cornelius Fudge has got his own private army of Heliopaths.”

 

“What?” Harry was completely thrown.

 

“Yes, he has,” Luna repeated stubbornly.

 

“What are Heliopaths?” Neville asked faer looking blank with confusion.

 

“They’re spirits of fire,” Luna had the tone of someone telling a story, “great tall flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everything in front of -”

 

“They don’t exist, Neville,” said Hermione tartly.

 

“Oh, yes, they do!” Luna protested angrily.

 

“I’m sorry, but where’s the proof of that?” Hermione snapped.

 

“There are plenty of eye-witness accounts. Just because you’re so narrow-minded you need to have everything shoved under your nose before you -”

 

“Hem, hem,” Ginny imitated Professor Umbridge that several people looked around in alarm, while Luna twisted her fingers into Neville’s sleeve and then the female Weasley snickered. “Weren’t we trying to decide how often we’re going to meet and have defence lessons?”

 

Quidditch was rementioned to Hermione’s obvious annoyance and she brought up the problem of location.

 

The library was out because Madam Prince had issues with summoning as it was; anything close to jinxes, hexes or worse, curses that could damage her precious books might result in a ban which would make writing essays difficult.

 

Classrooms both disused and McGonagall’s were mentioned.

 

“Right, well, we’ll try to find somewhere,” Hermione said with false confidence. “We’ll send a message round to everybody when we’ve got a time and a place for the first meeting.” Then she rummaged in her bag and produced parchment and a quill, then hesitated, rather as though she was steeling herself to say something.

 

“I - I think everybody should write their name down, just so we know who was here. But I also think,” she took a deep breath, “that we all ought to agree not to shout about what we’re doing. So, if you sign, you’re agreeing not to tell Umbridge or anybody else what we’re up to.”

 

Fred reached out for the parchment and cheerfully wrote his signature.

 

Neville wasn’t so oblivious that they failed to noticed that several people looked less than happy at the prospect of putting their names on the list.

 

The mouthy Hufflepuffs Zacharias and Ernie dithered and complained about having to sign it.

 

Until Hermione glowered, all 157.5 centimetres of her vibrating with annoyance and said testily, “Ernie, do you really think I’d leave that list lying around?”

 

Luna and Neville nodded at one another before signing and slipping out.

 

That was way more drama that either outcast had been expecting or wanting to deal with…

 

Neville wasn’t surprised when Ginny was seen latching on to Michael Corner but seeing a pained look in Bott’s eyes was unexpected.

 

Neville chose to ignore the Ravenclaws and Ginny, so they led Luna off to The Three Broomsticks for lunch in a quiet corner…

 

 

 


	3. They and Fae - Neville and Luna pt3

Luna had had a terrible feeling about Umbridge…

 

When the educational degrees started coming, this was highly nerve-wracking and some of the Ravenclaws like Marietta who was really a mouse were starting to rethink their involvement in Hermione’s study group.

 

The inspections and the disbanding of all groups was unwelcome and alarming news but the one about the distance between boys and girls was like a knife to faer heart.

 

Being banned from reading daddy’s **Quibbler** after letting Hermione talk faer into getting daddy to print Harry’s interview was annoying…

 

But the distance of two feet between faer and Neville felt like kilometres on dark moon days…

 

Neville had learned to sense dark moon days by now and took the punishment for violating the distance rule.

 

When Luna saw the words ‘I will respect a witch’s personal space’ carved into his hand, faer broke into tears.

 

“Your poor hand…”

 

“I don’t care…” Neville said binding up their hand using a poultice of leaves that they managed to talk Sprout into in exchange for breeding their Mimbletonia in the greenhouse.

 

“You can’t keep getting hurt because of me… it’s not right.” Luna sniffled.

 

Neville dried faer tears, “It’s not your fault. This,” they held up their hand, “is a badge of honour. If you need me, I’ll be here for you. I don’t care what that thing has to say about it.”

 

Luna pressed kisses to Neville’s bandaged hand, “You’re so sweet…”

 

Neville was clearly determined to look after faer even if Umbridge punished them for it…

 

XooooooX

 

Neville never really had much time to sketch but with Luna’s birthday coming up and it being faer fifteenth, they wanted to do something special…

 

It was a play on Luna’s pronouns…

 

Luna as a Faerie, faer was wearing a short dress high in the front but low in the back with its back open for silver and blue wings. The dress matched not only the wings but the flowers and ribbons in faer hair.

 

Ribbons were wrapped around faer right hand and left leg while fae was staring up at the moon with faer hands crossed over faer heart…

 

A shadowed tree was behind faer and fliting about faer were butterflies that looked as if they too worshiped faer.

 

Satisfied, Neville closed their sketch book, they would spell the drawing onto a canvas. Later of course, but they were pleased with it…

 

They could only hope that Luna loved it…

 

XooooooX

 

Neville was almost never in the mood to touch…

 

_But seeing Luna standing in front of them looking as if their sketch had come to life, it was hard to not want to…_

_“Come here beautiful…”_

_“Are you sure? I mean…”_

_“Luna, come here…”_

_Shy and trembling, Luna crept towards them._

_Neville pulled faer into their lap and kissed faer._

_“Neville…” their fairy friend melted into their lap._

_Neville kissed faer, caressing that blue and silver silk-clad body. All Luna seemed to be wearing was the dress and ribbons aside from the flowers and other plants in faer hair._

_Neville felt Luna shiver, “Neville…”_

_“You feel beautiful?”_

_“Yes… for you…”_

_“I want you to be beautiful for yourself…” Neville said almost to themself, while sliding their hands up Luna’s thighs, under faer dress and then closing them over faer breasts._

_“Aaa…”_

_“Yes, just ride the crest Luna…” Neville murmured._

_Soon Neville found a hand had moved between Luna’s legs, teasing faer pearl with their thumb while their fingers pressed inside Luna…_

_Neville didn’t understand their strange urge to physically meld with Luna but they did it anyway…_

_Inside faer body was so warm and it melded to them after a little resistance that had Luna whimpering in brief pain._

_Neville kiss faer and caressed faer body until faer relaxed._

_Then as if the two of them had done this before, the outcasts moved together…_

_Luna shivered and trembled, not from fear but from being overwhelmed._

_“I’ve got you Luna… I’ve got you…”_

_Then Neville had begun caressing faer pearl’s head with just their thumb again._

_Luna cried out, dribbling on them as they crested. Neville wasn’t far behind, erupting inside of faer._

_“Love you…” Luna murmured against their chest…_

_“I… care for you…” Neville admitted._

_They didn’t know if it was love but they felt something…_

 

XooooooX

 

In mid-January, Luna was in Ravenclaw Tower behind blue silk curtains having a dream about Neville…

 

_As unrealistic as it probably was, Dream Neville was caressing faer body and pressing kisses to it while proclaiming faer perfect and beautiful…_

_Then Dream Neville used those artist fingers to delve into faer body and prepare faer._

_Luna let out moans of pleasure as those fingers touched faer in ways she barely dared imagine while awake…_

_“Yes… oh please Neville…” Luna begged, faer fingers twisting the sheet beneath faer so fae wouldn’t touch Neville._

_“Be one with me?” they asked with a shaking voice._

_“Yours Neville… you make me feel beautiful…”_

_“You are beautiful…” Dream Neville said stubbornly._

_“Only for you…”_

_“Only want you…”_

_Knowing how Neville disliked and distrusted physical intimacy, this much even as a dream was likely unrealistic. But Luna wanted it, then it happened…_

_A larger, more masc version of faer pearl sunk into faer body, it embraced Neville causing Luna a slight pain as they were joined._

_Luna was half sobbing from joy, “You want me… we’re one… oh Neville…”_

_Slowly, the two outcasts began to move together…_

_Luna tried not to move for fear of Dream Neville pulling away because it was too much…_

_Something happened when Neville orgasmed, aside from their thumb stimulating just the head of Luna’s pearl. A warm, something unexpected…_

 

It caused Luna to wake up at once.

 

Something dark but not evil was in the dormitory… only as soon as it realised that she sensed it, it vanished…

 

There was a distinct change in faer magic, it couldn’t be…

 

Luna’s eyes filled with tears, not of shame or despair but of happiness.

 

They had never had a menstrual cycle before…

 

Please, be Neville’s…

 

Even if they and faer were only ever friends, they are the only one who would accept faer…

 

XooooooX

 

Luna didn’t mention faer suspicions but whenever faer energy and magic was low, fae sought out Neville. While fae didn’t touch, fae did stay as close to Neville as possible. Despite their lack of confidence in their magic, Neville had enough to spare without noticing which merely increased faer suspicions.

 

The one good thing that Luna noticed was that dark moon days were less predictable…

 

It was harder for others, particularly the girls in Ravenclaw to upset faer…

 

Luna just didn’t trust Pomfrey, she always smelt of whiskey and Umbridge would have to be informed. Best to do faer best to stay health and rest properly, although the rush of Neville’s magic surrounding faer when they were close was almost as wonderful as the rare moments when Neville held faer.

 

Luna would have to wait until fae was home, then Daddy could help faer see Healer Andromeda…

 

They were boys, as unusual as that was, Luna believed in faer heart that fae was carrying Neville’s sons…

 

XooooooX

 

They were still meeting secretly for ‘Dumbledore’s Army’, Luna despised that name. the Headmaster was a very cruel person and if he didn’t treat her with such cruelty, then she might have expected him to look out for students and keep Umbridge from punishing Neville. Luna joined had the ‘Defence Association’ not Dumbledore’s Army…

 

Neville saw it the same way…

 

The two of them were often practicing together and offering one another encouragement.

 

Neville was smug, Luna was succeeding and learning every spell with seeming ease while Chang was flubbing and floundering.

 

“She’s doing it on purpose…” Luna murmured beside them during a meeting before Ostara.

 

“Oh,” Neville frowned.

 

“Watch, she just wants Harry’s hands on her. They are oblivious… only one he really wants is my cousin…”

 

Neville blinked, “Your cousin?”

 

Luna tugged on their sleeve and whispered, “Draco…”

 

Neville’s eyes widened and then they snorted, “Should have guessed with those pretty eyes of yours…”

 

Luna blushed.

 

Harry continued lecturing about the patronus charm…

 

Luna thought that faer happiest memory was sitting in that greenhouse where Neville called faer pretty and promised to use faer preferred pronouns. Holding that memory in faer heart, Luna cast the spell.

 

“Expectro Patronum!”

 

Out of Luna’s wand came a beautiful shining rabbit, that was hopping around faer in a circle.

 

Her concentration was destroyed when Ron’s Jack Russell terrier knocked over Neville and the crude ginger sniggered, “Sorry Neville.”

 

Luna glared at Ron and knelt beside Neville to pull them up. “Come on, I’ve done it. You can too.” She helped Neville get their hand position just right on their wand just right and then wrapped faer arms around Neville’s waist, “I believe in you. Think about your happiest memory, hold onto it tight and say it.”

 

“I’ve tried Luna… all I get is useless sparks.” Neville protested.

 

“For me?” fae pouted up at them.

 

Neville smiled down at faer, “Alright, I’ll try it again for you…” they took a deep breath and cast, “Expecto Patronum!”

 

A shape began to emerge from Neville’s wand, a broad but definitely a corporeal creature…

 

Luna clung to Neville, biting faer lip in excitement.

 

Finally, the patronus stretched and Luna could deduce what it was…

 

“Neville," Luna whispered, “it’s a bear…”

 

Neville gaped, losing concentration.

 

Luna pressed faer cheek to Neville’s back, “You did it. I knew you would.”

 

Their moment was disturbed by the appearance of a strangely dressed house elf who announced that Umbridge was coming…

 

After some prodding of course…

 

Then Harry yelled at everyone, “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RUN!”

 

Despite knowing the rule about distance between witches and wizards, despite being a notorious klutz, despite hating to be touched or touching; Neville scooped up Luna, cradling faer in their arms, “We’re heading up to Gryffindor, we’ll be safe there.”

 

Last Neville knew, there wasn’t an Educational Decree about having non-House members in the common room…

 

Luna clung to Neville and trusted them while hoping that Harry and the others would get away safely.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neville's gift to Luna is inspired by this fanart:
> 
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/63/52/d2/6352d2b08554e23b5bcfd69052c06449.jpg
> 
> I don't know who created it but it's lovely...


	4. They and Fae - Neville and Luna pt4

Luna was surprised, but only slightly when daddy arrived one a strange day in June with letters granting permission to remove Neville and Blaise Zabini of Slytherin.

 

Daddy requested that she come as well…

 

Harry must have found out what Luna only suspected of faerself…

 

He was pregnant too! That meant that it must be Draco’s, why else would daddy be taking Blaise with them?

 

Fae didn’t like that Umbridge one bit, Neville had been caught comforting faer so many times that they bore a deep and legible scar on their hand.

 

Any excuse to leave was a good one in Luna’s opinion, fae just had to find a way to talk to daddy…

 

Once they were home, Luna slipped into mummy’s wardrobe and found a maternity dress. After adjusting its colour and casting a glamor charm on faerself, Luna made sure fae was very pretty. Implied or not, Luna was going to be Neville’s date so fae had to look pretty for them.

 

XooooooX

 

Luna was wearing a brilliant yellow maternity dress that shimmered like sunlight but hid faer pregnancy with a glamor.

 

Daddy had taken Blaise to be fitted for proper clothes…

 

Blaise was wearing a dark suit that looked tight and a cloak that was covered in silver snakes. Daddy's normally wild-looking hair was tamed and tied back in a blue ribbon. He wore a silver poet's shirt and trousers with a blue cloak. Blaise was accompanied by Adrian Pucey who was clearly unexpected but it was ignored.

 

Luna’s close cousins, the Greengrasses; Aunt Aurora, Uncle Titus as well as their daughters, Daphne and Arethusa. Luna was confused why Maia wasn’t there but since they hadn’t really spoke since mummy died, fae didn’t dare ask. Daphne was wearing a clinging dress of green silk while Arethusa was in a similar style but it was cornflower blue.

 

Neville showed up with their grandmother, but their face split with a grin when they saw Luna. Neville was looking more relaxed than most other than Luna faerself had ever seen. Neville was wearing a flattering suit and a scarlet cape that bore the crest of Gryffindor. Their grandmother wore dove grey robe frock that was cut in a flattering style. She wore a hat with a large bird of paradise on it but she looked proud of her grandson.

 

Healer Andromeda had brought her Bonded Mind Healer Ted and her daughter Nymphadora who clearly seemed out of place. She was wearing a dress and was uncomfortable.

 

Maybe Luna could get a moment alone with faer healer to confirm faer suspicions…

 

XooooooX

 

Luna happily agreed to be a witness for Harry and stand up with Neville but signed Harry’s bonding contract last because fae was the youngest.

 

Luna didn’t have eyes for anyone else other than Neville…

 

Fae was surprised when Neville escorted faer to the ballroom where two of them were surprised to find that they were to sit together with daddy next to Luna and Neville’s gran beside them.

 

While faer cousins were across from the four of them, Luna was far too interested in trying earn Neville’s imposing grandmother’s approval.

 

Draco, faer cousin felt Veela…

 

Not only Veela but ‘I want to mate and claim Veela’…

 

Blaise was Veela as well but Draco was impatient, finally Healer Andromeda excused the newly bonded couple after ensuring that the consummation wouldn’t harm faer cousin’s babies likely.

 

The guests rose, clapping while they called out congratulations.

 

Luna felt Andromeda’s eyes on faer, she _knew_ …

 

Luna wasn’t sure how but she did…

 

Andromeda led Luna out to the hallway, "You seem tired and drawn. Are you quite alright?"

 

Luna whispered a privacy charm before replying, "I am pregnant. I haven't been able to see a healer I could trust. I've tried to keep it a secret. I've not sleep with anyone. I woke up one morning in January feeling the presence of a Dark Creature but I couldn't find it."

 

Andromeda nodded, "A Lilithean. Harry was visited by the same. If you want I can tell you the father."

 

Luna seemed sad, "Alright."

 

Andromeda cast the spell.

 

Hovering above Luna's stomach were the words:

 

Bearer: Luna Avalon Lovegood

Sire: Neville Lionel Longbottom.

 

Luna's eyes filled with tears and fae hugged faerself. "Thank Rowena! I was so frightened…"

 

Andromeda cast a spell that created a 3-D picture on the babies growing inside faer. "Twins, both boys. I would guess you should be due about Harry's birthday."

 

Neville's voice was heard, "Luna? You're pregnant?" they sounded betrayed.

 

Luna's turned pale and the privacy charm broke due to faer lack of concentration. "I haven't slept with anyone I promise…"

 

"Then how," faer dear sweet Neville protested.

 

Andromeda held up her hand, "There is a Dark Creature at Hogwarts that steals a wizard's essence when they are asleep and implants it into a womb of an unsuspecting virgin. It stole your seed and left it in Luna. Fae conceived and is carrying your sons. Fae is the second person to conceive in such a manner."

 

Neville seemed thoughtful, "If they are mine, we'll have to be bonded. Gran will be upset but since it's neither of us who are responsible for poor judgement she can't be too upset." They took Luna's hand, "I know that males can't inherit in your family so I would gladly give them my name."

 

Luna chuckled, "One will be a Lovegood, it's about time we had a boy in the family. We've been all girls for generations."

 

Neville took faer arm, "I can't wait to tell Gran and Harry. I'm going to be a dad!" they kissed Luna's check, in an impulsive moment of happiness. "It will have to be soon. I don't know much about babies but can't they be born at any time?"

 

Andromeda nodded, "Any time after seven months. Twins are usually born early anyway. It's hard to know when a witch might go into labour."

 

Neville looked worried, "Come sit down."

 

Luna laughed, "I'm fine. Just a little tired."

 

“Then you have to sit down!” Neville insisted.

 

When the time for their departure arrived, Luna realised that Neville had not let go of faer hand.

 

They flooed to Tomle Chase at Neville’s insistence where faer beloved informed their gran proudly that Luna was carried their sons.

 

“How is this possible? It’s you…” his gran sputtered, clearly forgetting her manners.

 

“A miracle caused by a Lilithean according to Aunt Annie and you know she wouldn’t lie to me.”

 

“Luna princess, is this true?” daddy asked quietly.

 

“Yes daddy, I was going to tell you after I returned home and ask to have an appointment with Healer Andromeda. I love them so much, you will let me bond to Neville, won’t you?” Luna begged.

 

“Do they love you?” Xeno Lovegood frowned.

 

Luna beamed up at Neville, “I believe so… they are so kind and gentle. When I don’t feel pretty, Neville takes care of me and calls me beautiful.” Faer eyes filled with tears, “I know this isn’t how you wanted Neville to be a sire. I am sorry but if this was the only way,”

 

Neville let go of faer hand to cuddle faer to their chest, “Hush, it is a miracle… our babies… sons Luna…sons…”

 

Luna’s arms were wrapped around faerself, covered by Neville’s…

 

“Neville Lionel Longbottom, what in Rowena’s Wings happened to your hand?”

 

“It’s my fault,” Luna began.

 

“No,” Neville said firmly, “It is Umbridge’s, that pink toad made a stupid rule about distance between students of opposite genders. Luna was in emotional pain, fae,”

 

“Wait _fae_?” Lady Augusta frowned.

 

“Fae.” Neville said firmly, “It is how Luna refers to herself; their preferred pronouns are fae, faer and faerself. When fae is having dark moon days, usually because of those horrible Ravenclaw witches,”

 

“Now Neville,” Augusta interrupted them again.

 

“But nothing!” Neville ranted, finally letting it out, “They tormented faer; shoving faer into the lake, stealing faer things and chasing faer out of the loo. They were always called faer names! I put a stop to it when I saw it, they are awful to faer. I have my reasons not to like _those_ Ravenclaw witches but especially that uppity Cho Chang.”

 

“Luna princess, why didn’t you tell anyone?” daddy frowned.

 

“Dumbledore said that they would expel me if I caused trouble… I couldn’t tell a professor. With mummy gone, I didn’t want to upset you…” Luna sniffled.

 

“How can being bullied be a reason to be expelled? Lady Augusta gasped.

 

“Let it alone gran,” Neville brushed her off, “So because faer needed comfort, I knowing broke the educational degree. In retaliation and to teach me respect, Umbridge gave me detentions to write lines ‘until it _sunk_ in’. So, what is written on my hand is this, ‘I will respect a witch’s personal space’.” Neville spat while keeping their arms wrapped around Luna.

 

“While that is a good sentiment, punishing you for caring is ridiculous…” their gran complained. “I will discuss your estates with Xenos, the two of you may walk in the conservatory and discuss the intimate details of your wishes in regards your relationship.”

 

Neville led Luna to the conservatory…

 

Once the two of them were surrounded by plants, Neville swallowed, “Why didn’t you tell me you thought you were pregnant…?”

 

“I told you that I don’t… that my body doesn’t always act like a girl’s. When the girls in my dorm menstruate, I don’t. I never have. I know that being a mere fourteen-years-old, that doesn’t mean I won’t, so that shouldn’t even matter because some people begin late. But I was worried that I couldn’t have babies because I was different. I was afraid that I was pregnant and I didn’t have anyone I felt I could trust with this. But despite my miracle pregnancy exhausting me, being with you helped in so many ways.”

 

Neville blushed, “How will this work? Thanks to those books you found me I’m on the Asexual pendulum; I believe I’m demisexual who is touch averse because of my Asperger’s…”

 

“I am a pregnant intersex person who identifies as fem, has never menstruated, I prefer non-binary pronouns and I am pretty sure that I am greysexual. I could only be sexual with someone I felt a deep connection but leaning towards arovague. Romance is something I can take or leave but preferably not interested at present.”

 

“I seem to be having a touch day…” Neville mused.

 

“Does that mean,” Luna began shyly.

 

“Today I am comfortable touching you but I can’t be sure I am alright with you touching me.”

 

Luna blushed, “Alright.”

 

After wandering around the conservatory, Neville led faer to a wicker settee where they tucked faer into their side.

 

Luna let out a sigh of contentment.

 

“You are happy?”

 

“When we are together,” Luna began.

 

Neville surprised them both when they leaned over to kiss the top of Luna’s wispy blonde hair. “I’m glad my girl is happy.”

 

Luna shivered, leaning close to Neville.

 

XooooooX

 

Luna and Neville had supervised visits in between lessons on their estates and politics as well as preparing for Neville and their cousin Dean’s weddings. Luna had sent Neville back to Hogwarts because she sensed/knew that Dean needed them.

 

The two of them cuddled when Neville felt alright with it and even attempted to kiss but always in the conservatory where Neville was the most relaxed.

 

The first time that Neville kissed faer, Luna moaned softly. It was difficult to keep faer hands to faerself but fae managed it.

 

Neville panicked afterwards and retreated to the other end of the conservatory.

 

Luna was only a little hurt, this was difficult for Neville who usually couldn’t stand to be touched. Sometimes on dark moon days, Luna wouldn’t let Neville touch faer either…

 

It was faer duty as Neville’s betrothed to learn how to accommodate a balance between faer needs and Neville’s limits.

 

Luna doubted that fae could consider being intimate with anyone else; Neville was the only one who ever tried to get to know faer, who properly addressed faer with faer preferred pronouns and was protective of faer.

 

Neville who was rarely proud of themself, saw the scar on his hand from that blood quill as a badge of honour and wanted faer to be their wife/bonded.

 

Luna waited, humming as fae sketched and waited for Neville to calm down.

 

They would come back and would probably try to apologise, not that it was needed…

 

XooooooX

 

Their bonding had come and gone…

 

They had been sent up to their shared suite in Tomle Chase.

 

“I’ll shower and change first.” Luna said softly, hoping that faer absence would allow Neville to relax.

 

When fae returned, Neville was still uneasy, pacing and muttering self-deprecating statements.

 

Luna sighed, patting their bed, “Neville come here…”

 

Neville slowly moved towards faer.

 

Luna pointed at the end of the bed giving them space between faer and their bodies. “Kissing me in front of everyone and accepting their physical touches was too much. It’s not a ‘touch day’, is it?”

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“It’s alright. We’ll consummate when you are ready. No one should force you to do something physically that you aren’t okay with, not even me. I love you Neville… when you’re ready to try come find me. I don’t care what time it is.”

 

“Are you certain?”

 

“You know you’re the only one I trust to see my body, right?” Luna’s ambiguous genitals shamed faer sometimes.

 

“You’re beautiful… and so understanding…” Neville murmured.

 

“You don’t care that my body isn’t right, how could I not be equally understanding and accepting?”  Luna said smiling shyly at them.

 

“Soon, I promise it will be soon…”

 

They and fae slid into bed but to help Neville, Luna used a temporary spell to split it in two.

 

“Just so I don’t try to cuddle in my sleep…” Luna said with a quivering voice.

 

XooooooX

 

It was five days following their bonding before Neville felt that they could try…

 

They led Luna up to their room and sloppily tried to kiss faer.

 

Luna let Neville undress faer, touch faer with shaking hands and didn’t attempt to touch them.

 

There was a slight swell to Luna’s chest giving faer small but discernible breasts, but it was faer ‘pearl’ that fae was trying to cover with faer hands.

 

“Are you that excited?” Neville asked awed.

 

“You’re going to try to touch me like a lover, I want this very much. It’s embarrassing…”

 

“Nothing about your body is anything less than beautiful…” Neville repeated before kissing faer.

 

Trembling hands roamed faer body, skimming faer breasts and sides before lightly palming faer pearl.

 

“I don’t think I like to have anything but the head touched…” Luna admitted shamefully.

 

“Alright, I won’t touch more than you want.” Neville promised.

 

It took a while before either was ready to touch Luna inside…

 

Neville wasn’t ready or comfortable enough to try putting their prick inside Luna’s body but they did enjoy touching faer and see what faer liked.

 

Luna maybe intersex, Neville might not be capable of an average sex drive but they had looked up books on how to pleasure a woman. There were almost no differences in Luna’s erogenous zones…

 

Luna pulled away in shame when faer pearl dribbled white liquid.

 

“Andromeda will fix this, after the boys are born we’ll both talk about feminising your body if that’s what you still want. You’re still a girl… nothing will change that for me…” Neville promised as they kissed faer hair while cleaning faer with a wet cloth from a house elf before wrapping their arms around Luna.

 

 

 


	5. She - Hermione pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Star-crossed or not Series, Hermione is a stealth transgirl. This means that her legal name is feminine but her birth certificate still has a m gender marker. Dumbledore is oblivious because the list of incoming students has a female name listed for her and Hogwarts recognizes she is a girl. So yes, I took creative liberties with the late 1980s-early 1990s transgender/transsexual experience for trans kids. Her experience is heavily influenced by current treatment but is very... covert? Her Muggle circle of acquaintances is very small and nearly everyone is involved with her treatment. Being essentially homeschooled, explains why Hermione has issues with her social skills.
> 
> Yes, I know that technically The Little Mermaid as well as Beauty and The Beast came out while Hermione was at Hogwarts but we'll just pretend that isn't so.

She- Hermione

 

The earliest memory the Grangers’ only child had was that something was wrong with their body.

 

They never forgot anything.

 

When watching Disney movies, they danced around singing with the princesses but they were torn between Ariel and Belle.

 

One night when they were put to bed, they asked, “Mummy?”

 

“Yes baby,” Jean Granger asked absently.

 

“Do you think that if I wish very hard I can be a girl?”

 

“Baby what do you mean?”

 

“I want to be a princess.”

 

“Ray,”

 

“Please don’t call me that!”

 

“Ray… baby, what’s wrong?”

 

“It hurts being a boy… mummy make it stop…”

 

They tried very hard to explain but really only ended up crying themselves to sleep.

 

XooooooX

 

They wouldn’t speak for days after asking about wishing making them a girl…

 

Eventually, their parents took them to a psychologist.

 

“Do you know why you’re here Ray?”

 

“Don’t call me that! I’m not a boy!”

 

“Why do you feel like that?”

 

“I don’t know. My body is broken! Someone made a mistake! What did I do wrong when I was a baby in mummy’s tummy that made me like this?” They began to sob, rocking back and forth.

 

No matter what the psychologist said, they wouldn’t or perhaps, couldn’t stop crying.

 

“What I am about to tell you Mr. and Mrs. Granger is very difficult to hear. You have two choices; you can listen to what I have to say and ignore it or you can make the best choice for your child.”

 

“We’ll listen…” daddy said quietly while holding mummy’s hand.

 

“I don’t have the science to back me up, it’s a horrible truth. There isn’t enough research because they don’t want there to be any. You’ve never had a son,” the psychologist held up a hand, “I double majored in cultural anthropology and paediatric-adolescent psychology. Girls like yours have existed throughout history, my sister was one. You can help them or you can ignore this but I warn you that forcing masculinity on them may result in the same painful reality that my family has had to deal with.”

 

“What sort of painful reality?” Daddy’s voice had a frown.

 

“My sister committed suicide, they were forced into masculine roles and punished with beatings for any sort of feminine behaviour because it was their psychologist’s belief that demonizing the behaviour would stop it. It didn’t, I watched my sister unravel because they were tormented at home and at school for being different. They committed suicide at age twelve. I think puberty was the last straw for them…” the psychologist said quietly, “What your child has would be considered gender identity disorder if they were an adult but I don’t believe it is a ‘disorder’. They aren’t broken, your child is highly intelligent and can express themselves well. Go home and think about it, but please consider the possibility that forcing them to be a boy may result in their early death.”

 

They found themselves scooped up in mummy’s arms, “I won’t bury my child. Tell me how I can keep them with me.”

 

“Change churches, change everything. Redo their room, change their wardrobe. Let them explore being a girl; grow out their hair and wear dresses. If they do change their mind which I doubt, then you can let them switch back.”

 

“I can be a girl?” they sniffed.

 

“Listen to me, it will be a long hard road, people will be very mean because being different is scary to them. If they are mean, you tell your mummy and daddy. There really isn’t any guidance, no how-to book. We’re both writing this as we go along. Be very careful, whatever you do don’t tell _anyone_. I’m not saying this to frighten you but for her sake, the fewer people who know the better. I have friends who work with transsexuals, I will put feelers out to see who would be willing to help us support her. While you buy her dolls and dresses, help her find a new name. It can be girly and pretty or it can be something in-between.”

 

After that, they became their parents’ little princess…

 

XooooooX

 

Her name was now Hermione Fern Granger, instead of Horatio Heath… it was her legal name because daddy bribed someone. That worried her but at least she had her name right…

 

Between her psychologist and her parents, Hermione had a governess…

 

They were uneasy about putting her in school because her paperwork- birth certificate mostly still bore what her psychologist called ‘gender assigned at birth’.

 

Hermione still had a fondness for princesses, she slept with a stuffed Ariel doll and a dolphin but her room was Belle in Beast’s library.

 

When her parents bought their new house, they paid for someone to paint the library from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.

 

Her governess was also a very special girl like her, they let her play dress up as well as teaching her languages like Latin and French. Taking group lessons like dance were tried once but the moment someone called her a freak, because one of the girls overheard an adult complaining that a boy was wearing girl’s clothes and then Hermione understood just why the adults didn’t want her to go to school.

 

After that, her governess Grace supervised private lessons…

 

Hermione learned many things; knitting, sewing, cooking, tap, ballet, piano and to swim…

 

She didn’t like any of them, except maybe music…

 

The only really hurtful part about being herself was not having friends and her grandparents had stopped speaking to her parents because of the Ray-Mione issue…

 

Her parents were full-time dentists and it was to save up money because being a transsexual was expensive. She had to see special doctors who had experience or knowledge about transsexuals, they were a small community but at least they were all in London.

 

Hermione was really grateful…

 

XooooooX

 

 “I shouldn’t be telling you this but the closer we get to the onset of biological puberty the more I worry for Hermione’s mental health. Some of us have put together money researching hormone blockers, it is for trans kids like our Hermione but the official research proposal had nothing to do with it. We’re doing a test run, you might call it illegal and it is your choice to allow Hermione to participate. I can’t legally recommend hormone treatment until she is eighteen and she can’t be prescribed it until that age either.”

 

“What will it do?”

 

“Hypothetically, it will block the hormones that would further masculinize her body. Her voice won’t deepen, she won’t grow unwanted hair and her gonads wouldn’t drop. Puberty will make or break her, the best we can do is give her the support she needs.”

 

“I want it…”

 

“This is technically illegal Hermione.”

 

“I don’t care. I’ll do anything…”

 

“Alright. Those who agree to participate will be registered for a diabetes study. You will need to inject the hormones. Missing doses will result in puberty, it will make you a boy.” Their psychologist insisted.

 

Hermione fervently promised to follow the directions…

 

XooooooX

 

Because her governess had been a CNA to get through university, they showed Hermione how to inject herself.

 

Hermione did it because it was important. She couldn’t have the hormones to be a girl but at least these would keep her from being betrayed further by her body.

 

Hermione was surprised when an elderly man knocked on their door and addressed her governess as ‘Mrs. Granger’ only to have Ms. Grace laugh.

 

“You aren’t? Oh dear, this is the Granger residence, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes, of course but they aren’t home right now.”

 

“Do you know when they will be back? My name is Professor Dumbledore…”

 

Her governess sighed and provided them with a guestimate and promised to call to let her employers know.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione was excited, as she watched for her parents and Professor Dumbledore.

 

The three of them arrived almost together, her mother didn’t even have time to change.

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Granger, my name is Albus Percival Brian Wulfric Dumbledore.”

 

“I can’t say I have ever heard the name.” her father muttered.

 

“You wouldn’t have.” The elderly man shrugged. “You see, I have come to invite your daughter to attend my school.”

 

“Your school?” Hermione asked curiously as she swung her legs, pretending not to be excited about the idea of school and being invited.

 

“It is a boarding school in Scotland, renowned in select circles and unheard up to a great many more. We are the premiere school of our kind here in the United Kingdom. A scholarship is always around for recruited students.”

 

“Scotland is very far…” her mum murmured.

 

“Our daughter has diabetes and requires access to her medication…” dad was wary of this offer.

 

“It is possible that, never mind. Let me give her a test… but first has anything strange happened when she becomes upset?” Dumbledore asked.

 

“When our parents last visited and there was an argument the light fixtures blinked and then exploded in a freak accident.”

 

“Clothes she doesn’t like disintegrate.”

 

“A girl who teased her at dance class ended up with a nasty rash that wouldn’t go away for weeks… nothing they tried worked.” Her governess offered. “Oh, and when she is very upset her hair stands on end.”

 

Hermione was given a test which comprised of having a stick placed in her hands and being taught how to wave it and to enunciate a phrase.

 

“Wingardium Leviosa.” Hermione said firmly.

 

The coffee table began to rise.

 

“Bravo! I expected a book or a magazine but the table is impressive.”

 

Hermione was thrilled to learn that she could do magic…

 

Eventually, her parents were talked into considering letting her attend.

 

Once Headmaster Dumbledore left, her parents frowned.

 

“It’s so far away.” Dad protested.

 

“He called her a girl Merc, a girl. It’s a boarding school with segregated dormitories. If she really is a girl, don’t you think that she would be allowed with the other girls?”

 

“What if she isn’t?”

 

“I believe in her.” Mum insisted.

 

“Please can I go?” Hermione begged.

 

“It’s so far, how can we,”

 

“Mum, you can’t protect me forever. I will have to face the possibility of being misgendered and bullied again.” Hermione protested.

 

“It’s just not right that you have to worry about that… you are a girl.” Her dad complained.

 

XooooooX

 

Eventually, both her parents agreed and when Dumbledore returned, he seemed pleased with her choice. But Dumbledore did insist that they give him permission to have her governess forget about her going away to magic school for her safety.

 

Her parents protested, insisting that they trusted Miss Grace but Dumbledore was relentless and forced them to agree.

 

Apparently, it was illegal for non-magical persons to know about magic but only parents and legal guardians were exceptions.

 

Sunday was her parents’ next day off and plans were made for Headmaster Dumbledore to take her shopping.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione had chosen many books on the magical world as well as her text books, she had learned calligraphy and with the help of a quill penmanship book, she was sure to learn.

 

She read them all straight through and even practiced the spells with her wand…

 

Magic was so brilliant, she promised to take her shots properly and never be caught without her knickers.

 

It helped that Hermione was a very early morning person…

 

Miss Grace called what Hermione was about to do as ‘going stealth’.

 

Being almost twelve, her blockers were even more important…

 

Hermione was taught to tape herself and by keeping her clothing loose being noticed was less likely. There were vocal exercises to keep her voice from being recognized as odd…

 

Hermione’s underthings were very feminine…

 

She was terrified and excited all at once…

 

XooooooX

 

The day finally arrived, September 1st.

 

Her parents drove her to King’s Cross Station, where a tiny wizard shorter than Hermione was escorting students with identical trunks.

 

Hermione noticed the beanie on their head and heard the word ‘Hogwarts’…

 

She scurried over while pushing her trolley, “Please sir, did you say,” her voice dropped, “Hogwarts?”

 

“Oh? Are you the student that Dumbledore met, Miss Hermione Granger?”

 

Hermione beamed, “Oh yes!”

 

“Then come on quickly, I’m Professor Flitwick. Line up on that wall. Close your eyes and walk backwards. That’s the way to the hidden platform.”

 

Hermione’s parents hugged her, promising to correspond via ‘owl post’ and to send her ‘medicine’.

 

Hermione was nervous and excited as she took that brave step backwards…

 

Then immediately the scenery changed. She could hear owls hooting, cats hissing in complaint and people discussing Hogwarts and classes quite loudly.

 

The professor introduced Hermione and her fellow students to a lanky redhead with horned-rim glasses. “Good morning Percy! Here are a few first years to look after. “This is Miss Hermione Granger, Mr. Dean Thomas, Mr. Justin Finch-Fletchley and Miss Alice Tolipan.”

 

“I am Percy Weasley, a Fifth Year Gryffindor prefect. Welcome to Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters and the Hogwarts Express. Let’s find you a compartment…”

 

Professor Flitwick waved at them, wished them well and promised to see them at Hogwarts before disappearing with a loud pop.

 

“What was that? Where did they go?” Hermione gasped blinking.

 

“The professor just apparated. Probably to Hogsmeade since you can’t apparate onto Hogwarts’ property.” Percy shrugged, “Let’s find you a compartment then.”

 

Dean and Justin helped lift both Hermione and Alice’s trunks up the stairs onto the train before hauling up their own.

 

“Did you bring your entire library?” Dean teased.

 

Hermione blushed, hiding behind her hair, “I tried?”

 

Hermione was too nervous to really introduce herself at first…

 

Then a boy named Neville appeared looking for his pet toad, Hermione who had never really had a pet because Miss Grace was allergic shyly offered to help.

 

They wandered into a compartment that held _Harry Potter_ but her nervousness didn’t make a good impression.

 

When the other boy in the compartment glowered at her and Hermione ended up leaving with Neville to continue looking for his toad.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione had ended up in a boat to Hogwarts with Neville…

 

They were called up to be sorted and the Sorting Hat giggled in her head.

 

 _“Well aren’t you unexpected! Good for you getting in. With this mind of yours, you could be a strong Ravenclaw but that determination to be your authentic self sets you apart as a,”_ the hat then yelled, “Gryffindor.”

 

Hermione nervously nibbled at her dinner, her test of her femininity would rest on whether or not the Gryffindor girls dormitory accepted her.

 

She followed Percy with the other First Year Gryffindors and repeated ‘Caput Draconis so they wouldn’t forget the password.

 

She walked towards the girls’ dormitory, repeating in her head, ‘I am a girl, I am a real girl.’

 

Magic washed over her but the stairs remained stairs, so Hermione joined Lavender, Pavarti, Alice and Faye in their dormitory, selecting the bed nearest the door.

 

Hermione readied herself to bed, she just had to get up early so she could bathe without being _seen_ …

 

XooooooX

 

Being friendless while being surrounded by thirty-nine other students was painful…

 

While Hermione would _like_ to have friends, a part of her was too terrified of the probable consequences.

 

Ron, a fellow First Year Griffindor taunted Neville that if Hermione had just let them alone then Neville would have cast the levitating charm sooner.

 

“She’s a nightmare, honestly. No wonder she hasn’t got any friends.”

 

Hermione had forgotten how being taunted felt and it _hurt_.

 

She ran off to the girls’ loo and when Lavender asked if she was alright, Hermione just snapped at her to mind her own business.

 

XooooooX

 

So, Ron and Harry, the former who had bullied her by being cruel, rescued her from the troll after inadvertently locking it in with her.

 

Now somehow, they were friends but luckily for her anyway, they weren’t exactly very perceptive or observant.

 

They had some adventures that year that bonded them as deeper friends including rescuing the Sorcerer’s stone only to find out that it wasn’t _Snape_ that they should have been worried about but Quirrell…

 

He had given her an uneasy feeling…

 

Hermione would try to be more observant.

 

 

 


	6. She - Hermione pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for transphobia. Contrary to Dumbell's reaction being trans isn't a problem in the Wizarding world but the odious headmaster loathes anyone who isn't binary. Being bent or straight doesn't matter to him but you have to live as your birth gender while attending his school. I am using this to show how hurtful transphobia can be with an unsupportive administration.

 

Being invited to stay with the Weasleys wouldn’t have been quite so disconcerting if she didn’t have to share a bedroom with Ginny who was a shy but overly inquisitive girl who clearly was crushing on Harry.

 

It was even worse to have a house with eleven people and only one loo on either floo, with the shower being in the top floor bathroom.

 

Half of them bathed at night and the rest during the morning to conserve hot water, being an obnoxiously early morning person, Hermione offered to take the first shower at five.

 

This turned out to be a good thing for everyone, Hermione also got to practice showering insanely quickly.

 

Hermione was already finished with her summer homework by the time she arrived at **The Burrow** so she spent a lot of time with Mrs. Weasley or Ginny who was a tomboy unlike herself.

 

Hermione spent the rest of the holiday hearing about how wonderful Gilderoy Lockhart was and he was very handsome…

 

So, since they met Lockhart while shopping with her parents, who took meeting the overly exuberant Mr. Weasley well- after all they had survived the shock that their son was actually their daughter and that they were magical, Hermione might have a tiny crush.

 

XooooooX

 

Given Hermione’s eidetic memory it wasn’t surprisingly that she managed a 100% on Lockhart’s quiz and ended up being praised as well as being flashed that smile that had apparently been awarded a ‘best smile award’ by Witch Weekly seven times.

 

Hermione blushed and hid behind her bushy hair.

 

Ron’s insults and taunts about her crush were upsetting but she did her best to ignore them. She had friends, so Hermione could make allowances for them. After all, she was keeping a big secret from them…

 

XooooooX

 

As if being born a not-girl wasn’t bad enough, a new slur was attached to Hermione but her friends defended her.

 

Draco Malfoy kept calling her a Mudblood and acting like an all-around shite while preening. So, was it any wonder that given Ron’s distrust of Slytherins and Draco’s behaviour that they suspected Malfoy was the Heir of Slytherin? After all, Harry couldn’t be, he was too nice and his face was an open book.

 

Hermione tricked Professor Lockhart with flattery to get permission to retrieve an advance potions text ‘ **Most Potente Potions** ’ and brewed the Polyjuice in Moaning Myrtle's haunted loo.

 

Being headlocked by Millie Bulstrode had seemed alright because she got the hair she need but that backfired spectacularly.

 

Hermione was terrified that someone would figure out her secret because she was a cat-thing. You weren’t supposed to use Polyjuice to be animals…

 

Fortunately, Hermione found out that Madam Pomfrey wasn’t as observant as Miss Grace. Being female was blamed on the _cat_ …

 

Snape examined her and sneered that it would have to wear off but he couldn’t be sure that there wouldn’t be _side-effects­_ to being a cat but it was an appropriate punishment for an uppity know-it-all Muggleborn who attempted a potion above her ability.

 

Because of her accidental alteration, it took longer for her botched polyjuice to wear off. The moment she was human, she slipped off. Luckily for Hermione it was early, really early; not even dawn.

 

Madam Pomfrey had drank herself into a stupor _again_ so it was unlikely that she would wake up. Hermione would just convince her that she examined her properly when the potion wore off in the middle of the night but made her promise that she wouldn’t go back to Gryffindor until morning.

 

That was a close call…

 

XooooooX

 

It was stupid of her…

 

Crushing on Ron who hardly noticed her and didn’t know her secret, they were also a bit of a bully. Hermione couldn’t understand why she liked him…

 

That didn’t keep her from having dreams…

 

_Ron shoved her against the wall, “Thought you could trick me, didn’t you? For two years? You were pretending the whole time?”_

_“I wasn’t, I’m a girl!” Hermione protested._

 

_Her unwanted thing was squeezed and slapped as Ron forced fingers inside her._

_She wanted to be made love to but this wasn’t what she imagined…_

_Why was he angry? She was a girl!_

_Hermione was crying even in her dream, Ron’s prick forced its way where she didn’t want it. The entire time Ron was calling her a liar and misgendering her while he fucked her like a boy._

 

When she woke up, it was way too early to be awake but Hermione slipped off into the girls’ loo where she proceeded to scrub herself raw and sob.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione figured out that the monster in the chamber was a basilisk but she had help. She had left her books and things at her isolated favourite table only to come back to the page torn from a copy of Scamander’s book on magical creatures with the words ‘reflection = petrification’ and ‘pipes’.

 

The words put it all together, everything but _who_ the Heir was.

 

“I’ve got to tell Harry! A snake! That explains everything…”

 

Hermione didn’t hear a gasp of horror behind her or the scurrying away of a ginger.

 

She was wary enough to convince Percy’s prefect partner of humouring her by using her mirror, just a compact for make-up, to see around corners.

 

Standing in the shadows behind the basilisk was a ginger girl…

 

Ginny? Alice?

 

Hermione didn’t get a good look because she lost consciousness due to being petrified.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione woke up after being petrified to find herself the last victim of the Heir left in the Infirmary.

 

“Granger!” Dumbledore growled.

 

“Yes Headmaster?” Hermione’s voice trembled.

 

“How dare you!”

 

“What did I do that was wrong?”

 

“You hoodwinked me into letting you into my school!” Dumbledore slapped her. “I despise freaks like you! I should expel you! We let you sleep in the girls dormitory!”

 

Hermione cringed, “I’m a girl! If I wasn’t, then I wouldn’t be able to enter the dormitory. It’s in Hogwarts: A History…”

 

“I don’t care what Hogwarts thinks, people like you aren’t girls. Unfortunately, keeping you in Harry’s circle is necessary at present. However, if one person discovers you have this!” Hermione was half in tears when the Headmaster grabbed her crotch and squeezed, “I will expel you. I will snap your precious wand and personally bind your magic.”

 

Hermione was forced to pretend all was well when Harry and Ron came to visit but it wasn’t true…

 

She was glad that her time as a cat creature hadn’t resulted in her secret being exposed…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione had picked Crookshanks because he was unwanted and partially because she had permission. Miss Grace had visited sometimes during the holidays but she moved away to help another girl like them, so Hermione finally felt comfortable having a pet. Well as a witch, Crookshanks was a familiar but that was semantics.

 

Crookshanks wandered the castle to his heart’s content but let her cuddle him while she slept. He didn’t like most people but he liked her which meant a lot.

 

Hermione had started suspect that Crookshanks had an alternative motive with Scabbers, he bristled and went on the defensive when they crossed paths before chasing him. She fed him with food she ordered by owl so he wasn’t really hungry. He was trying to tell her something but Ron was violent towards her beloved cat.

 

As if trying to kick Crookshanks wasn’t mean enough, Ron threatened her cat multiple times.

 

Her beloved Crookshanks who let her hold him and cry in his fur when she felt overwhelmed by classes or alienated by not having a proper girl’s body.

 

He had wanted her, she was one of the few people whom he allowed to hold him…

 

Actually, Hermione couldn’t think of anyone else…

 

When Ron found blood in his bed and freaked out claiming that Crookshanks murdered his rat, the image was more painful for her than Ron could imagine. Hermione often heard Lavender who matured young whinging about spotting in her knickers or the bed.

 

Ron who spent ages complaining about Scabbers was so out of sorts angry about his ‘death’ that he decided to punish her by overpraising his rat and taking Harry away from her.

 

Crookshanks caught _spiders_ , she’d never seen him with the remains of a rat before and he kept to the girls’ dormitory mostly. Odd, male pets/familiars were except from the anti-boy jinx…

 

Her isolation from her friends at Ron’s instigation surprisingly gave her a professor who looked out for her; Professor Charity Burbage.

 

While she never told the Muggle Studies professor her secret, the witch reminded her a bit of Miss Grace because she looked out for her.

 

XooooooX

 

Crookshanks, what a brilliant perceptive cat she had.

 

Her kneazel figured out that Scabbers wasn’t a rat at all but an animagus who betrayed Harry’s parents to… Voldemort.

 

Unfortunately, they didn’t get Sirius proven innocent but at least they saved him… and Buckbeak from being murdered. Sirius was going to be Kissed by a Dementor and Buckbeak beheaded by the Minister Executioner…

 

It had been a particularly traumatizing ordeal because Professor Lupin was a werewolf without his potion…

 

Also they had to keep from being _seen_ but it had repaired her relationship with Harry, they leaned on each other the whole time.

 

It was nerve-wracking but she got through it because it was the right thing to do. While she despised having boy parts, it had made peeing easier when they were hiding in the woods from their other selves. Harry was more than willing to keep people from seeing her when she was doing her business and never tried to peep.

 

She used vanishing charms for the other and was very grateful that she learned the refresher charm for emergencies…

 

Hermione saw how upset Harry was when he realised that he had no choice but to return to the Dursleys, while Ron was impatient for when Harry was coming to The Burrow.

 

Sometimes, she wished Ron wasn’t as oblivious…

 

 

 


	7. She - Hermione pt 3

She really should have expected something like this…

 

Harry was a Triwizard champion…

 

With his record of two out of three Defence professors nearly doing him in; Quirrell trying to kill him by hexing his broom and later strangling him but Lockhart had been an accident when he caused a cave-in. though to be fair, Professor Lupin never actually tried to hurt Harry even as a werewolf.

 

In fact, when the later version of themselves were in the woods with Lupin he was protecting them…

 

He had always had a soft spot for Harry…

 

Hermione was disconcerted by Moody; his magical eye supposedly could see through anything and she was terrified that he would see what she was and tell.

 

Ron had turned his back on Harry, accusing him of entering behind his back. Seriously? Harry had been pretty vocal about his preference for a boring year and how in Merlin’s name would he have managed it? Fred and George couldn’t even with an aging potion. Plus, he was so oblivious that Harry clearly didn’t know anyone who was old enough. He was in shock that Angelina entered…

 

Ron had his ‘money’ on Angelina as their champion because having a Slytherin would be disgusting and apparently on Gryffindor could properly represent Hogwarts.

 

Unfortunately, Harry wasn’t the right sort of Gryffindor being a ‘cheater’ and having Diggory who was Hufflepuff was an equal embarrassment.

 

The good thing to come out of this was that Harry did his own work, he studied properly and let her help him figure out how to face the dragon.

 

She was the first person he told and after an understanding moment of panic, she tried to find and devour every book on dragons in the hope of figuring out something.

 

It was actually a book on the History of the Triwizard and the rules that gave her the idea.

 

Harry had to begin the task with just his wand, that didn’t mean he couldn’t alter that dynamic after. So, she borrowed McGonagall’s classroom to help him practice the Summoning charm.

 

She was nervous and excited when he managed to summon his Firebolt immediately but his antics terrified her.

 

He did score well but it was upsetting that Harry was willing to forgive Ron after how abusive he had been…

 

It did give her hope that Harry would forgive her if she ever told him her secret…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione wasn’t attracted to Viktor Krum.

 

She was however flattered that he preferred her silent company and occasional conversation to his hordes of adoring fans.

 

So, perhaps, she shouldn’t have been all that surprised when he cleared his throat.

 

“Hermione?”

 

Hermione sighed, he still mispronounced her name but at least he didn’t misgender her. “Yes Viktor?”

 

“Will you… might you…gottotheYuleBallwithme?” the Bulgarian seeker blurted out in that accent of his.

 

Hermione had tried to learn Russian to communicate with him easier but she had a difficulty reading Cyrillic. Unfortunately, she was more of a visual learner which made sense because of her eidetic memory but it was a drawback in this instance.

 

“The Yule Ball? Are you asking for my company?” She asked stammering.

 

“As friends?” he cast a privacy charm, “I have a male lover… and Highmaster say I must go with student.”

 

Hermione blinked, Viktor was _gay_? She hadn’t expected that! She swallowed, “I hadn’t expected to go with anyone. If it’s just as friends, then I would be happy too. I don’t know how to dance well, Ron’s mom tried to teach me but I learned muggle dancing so,”

 

“Relearning be hard. Have same issue learning to read English.” Viktor assured her.

 

“Are you sure that your boyfriend won’t mind?”

 

Viktor chuckled startling her, “He say I ask you. After say no can ask him.”

 

Hermione forgot her manners and gaped at him, “How does he know me?”

 

“He a dragon keeper. Meet over you over summer.”

 

Hermione blinked, “Your boyfriend is Charlie?”

 

“Yes, Karlik.” Viktor chuckled to himself, “He no ready to tell about us. He say can tell you. You have famous friend but he like any boy to you. You keep secret.”

 

“Karlik?’ Hermione frowned.

 

“Is how you say special name show affection?”

 

“Nickname?”

 

“Yes. Charles is Karl in Russian, in we call them Karlik instead of Charlie. Karlik say you be okay with be friends?”

 

Hermione nodded, “Yes we can go as friends. Tell Charlie I appreciate his trust and I won’t tell about you. He can tell his family when he’s ready.”

 

“That mat of his…” Viktor grumbled.

 

Hermione was surprised that Viktor disliked Mrs. Weasley, had she missed something?

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione was surprised Neville who hardly talked to anyone called out to her in Gryffindor Tower the day after Viktor asked her.

 

“Hermione?”

 

Hermione smiled at him, “Yes Neville?”

 

“Gran says I have to go to the Ball… so wouldyoubemydate?” Neville blurted out.

 

Hermione was flattered and a bit sad, “I am so flattered you asked me and I really wish I could.”

 

Neville frowned, “You mean,”

 

“Someone already asked me and I said yes.” Hermione tried to let them down gently.

 

“That’s alright Neville,” Ginny said interrupting them. “You can take me.”

 

Hermione hoped that was a good idea, even two years after her disastrous singing valentine to Harry, Ginny still was obsessedly interested. In fact, she frowned, she was surprised that Ginny didn’t try to go with Harry…

 

She felt so bad for Neville but she promised to go as friends with Viktor for Charlie.

 

It was so awful that they couldn’t go together… but it was nice that Charlie had trusted her with his boyfriend as well as that they were dating.

 

Hermione did wonder why he trusted her…

 

Why either of them felt comfortable with the idea of a date with them even a platonic one was confusing. Were they sensing something about her?

 

Hermione did her best to put it out of her head.

 

XooooooX

 

“Hermione, Neville’s right, you are a girl.” Ron asked out of the blue.

 

Hermione stiffened, her eyes narrowing as her voice went acidic, “Oh well spotted.”

 

As if his sexist comments about real girls hadn’t been horrible enough, she was already taking exception to his tone. Poor Eloise Midgen never did anything to him. She probably didn’t even know who he was but Ron had used her as an example of who he wouldn’t go with. Hermione had attempted to stand up for poor Eloise who had horrible ache, a problem Hermione didn’t have thanks to her blockers, only to have him retort that her ‘nose was off-centre’.

 

“Well - you can come with one of us!” Ron declared bossily.

 

“No, I can’t,” Hermione snapped.

 

“Oh, come on,” Ron said impatiently, “we need partners, we’re going to look really stupid if we haven’t got any, everyone else has…”

 

“I can’t come with you,” Hermione blushed, she was going with his idol and his brother’s boyfriend after all, “because I’m already going with someone.”

 

“No, you’re not!” Ron scoffed. “You just said that to get rid of Neville!”

 

“Oh, did I?” Hermione’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn’t mean no one else has spotted I’m a girl!”

 

Ron stared at her and then grinned the misogynist idiot. “Okay, okay, we know you’re a girl,” he said. “That do? Will you come now?”

 

“I’ve already told you!” Hermione snapped. “I’m going with someone else!”

 

Then she stormed off toward the girls’ dormitories, the nerve. Sure, they were friends and she might have considered it _if_ Viktor and Neville hadn’t beaten him first. But to be asked out as a last resort to avoid going with poor Eloise…

 

Hermione didn’t want to be that sort of girl, was Ron so oblivious to her being a girl or was he subconsciously aware that she stealth trans?

 

That was a terrifying thought…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione had off-hand asked Lavender to recommend something to deal with her hair for that Yule Ball and had been surprised to be recommended anything much less have the witch help her owl for it. Lavender had treated her hair for her despite it taking _hours_ …

 

While she hadn’t gone to a fancy occasion like a Ball before, Hermione was grateful for the make-up lessons from Miss Grace so she was confident in that at least.

 

Hermione had nerve rackingly allowed Madam Malkin to fit her without her pendant, she loathed that but at least her clothes fit.

 

So, this meant that her periwinkle dressrobes were not only properly fitted but due to her embarrassingly flat chest, Madam Malkin had built in padding to give her a more natural feminine hourglass shape. There was some umph that gave her the slight appearance of a chest and wider hips. The best part was that it was decorated to look like mermaid scales, so sue her if Hermione still had a thing for princesses…

 

Despite knowing that Viktor was gay and in a committed relationship, she was a girl and it was her first ball so it was a bit romantic.

 

She stayed in the shadows until the last minute, because of her dress and how feminine she looked, Hermione had decided to leave her pendant in a safe place up in her dormitory.

 

Just before the Great Hall doors opened, Hermione slipped out and curtseyed to Viktor who let out a sigh of relief as he bowed over her hand and then placed it on his arm. She had been trying to work up the courage since they came through the front doors. She waved to Harry and his date Pavarti, calling out greetings. Pavarti hadn’t seen her dressed so the shock was obvious… Hermione wasn’t attracted to girls but she was nearly certain that Pavarti’s expression of shock was unflattering.

 

They entered behind Fleur and her date Rodger Davies from Ravenclaw but before Harry and Pavarti. Hermione knew that Pansy and Draco both saw and recognised her was were too shocked to say anything. Ron was sulking about his robes…

 

Dinner was nice, while Fleur was ruthlessly comparing Hogwarts to Beauxbatons, Viktor was weaving stories about Durmstrang for her.

 

Hermione could tell they were stories despite Karkaroff’s sarcastic comment about how if he wasn’t careful she could find Durmstrang. 

 

Dumbledore was watching her with narrow eyes, almost nothing she did seemed acceptable to him since he found out her secret. Whatever she did wasn’t enough, even rescuing Sirius and saving Buckbeak without being _seen_ was of no consequence.

 

Eventually, the tables cleared creating a dancing area and Viktor escorted her down to there.

 

Hermione wasn’t confident in her partner dancing but despite his usual clumsiness, Hermione was pleased that Viktor could dance so well.

 

Shyly she asked during a dance when they were far enough from everyone. “Do you miss him?”

 

“Karlik? Da, I vish ve could have come together but zhis is nice too.”

 

There were a few orchestral songs like ballads, then came a brief break while the entertainment changed.

 

Hermione was left by Viktor who planned to fetch them drinks, she turned around smiling to herself only to see Ron, Harry and their dates looking miserable.

 

“You don’t mind, do you, Harry?” Pavarti asked when a boy asked her to dance.

 

“What?” Harry shook his head looking miserable while he couldn’t take his eyes off of Draco Malfoy with Pansy who was dancing next to Cedric and Cho.

 

Ron was still picking at the ragged sleeves of his dress robes.

 

Pavarti stalked off like an affronted cat.

 

Ron took exception to her accompanying Viktor and even went so far as to call her a traitor.

 

His insulting of Viktor, his own brother’s boyfriend made her so angry that she stormed off to cool down.

 

It was sometime before Hermione met up with Viktor again, but that time she able to give him a nice enough night.

 

Later, she encountered Ron in the common room resulting in a screaming match that Harry walked into.

 

Eventually, she became so fed up with Ron that she yelled at him.

 

“Well, if you don’t like it, you know what the solution is, don’t you?” yelled Hermione; her hair was coming down out of its elegant bun now, and her face was screwed up in anger.

 

“Oh yeah?” Ron yelled back. “What’s that?”

 

“Next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!”

 

Then she turned on her heel and stormed up the girls’ staircase to bed.

 

This could have been a wonderful night just going with Viktor as friends but to have it end up in a fight with Ron was terrible shadow on it.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione being called away by McGonagall with Ron the night before the Second Task only to be cast into a charmed sleep was slightly unexpected.

 

Waking up underwater was more terrifying but thankfully Viktor cast a charm that encased her head in a bubble of air.

 

She returned to the surface where she realised Viktor had a shark’s head and it was just… a bit much to handle.

 

Harry returned not long after with Ron and a familiar little blonde girl who was too young to be attending Beauxbatons.

 

Hermione was given a potion to warm up and a blanket as well as having a drying charm from Viktor.

 

Ron was still insulting Harry for believing that he could lose both of them, Ron didn’t understand the same way that Hermione did about how they were their first friends and that the threat of losing them forever wasn’t a motivator but rather a horrifying possibility.

 

Hermione’s musing was interrupted by an invitation for Hermione to visit his family over the summer.

 

“Will Karlik be there?” Hermione asked nervously.

 

“Da and Misha. Misha very shy. You look out for heem? Misha is a Gry...”

 

“A Gryffindor?” Hermione asked curiously.

 

“Da.” Viktor nodded.

 

Then Bagman interrupted them to inform them of the scores.

 

Hermione felt they were unfair; Cedric was now in first place, followed by Harry giving the two a tie while Viktor who was the second to return with her [she was clearly his hostage because of her being his date to the Yule Ball and their relationship was misinterpreted]. Fleur who was a very magically skilled witch received poor marks, this time her marks were out of pity rather that an unfair score like the First Task.

 

Hermione was worried about how dangerous the next task would be.

 

XooooooX

 

Harry was more studious without Ron around but at least he had solved his egg [with help from Cedric] and the revelation of a maze by Bagman. At least Harry was trying to study for his exams, despite being ‘exempt’ from having to take them, Harry understood that he needed them without her saying so and quietly ignored Ron who told him to just forget ‘em. After all, the champions weren’t expected to take them but Viktor had claimed that he was going to…

 

Hermione was certain that it would prove more of a labyrinth with spells and dangerous creatures so she poured over her copy of Scamander’s book on magical creatures making a list of contenders as well as a cheat sheet of how to defeat/protect one’s self from them.

 

Harry helped research the creatures as well as the spells while Ron just complained- Hermione focused more on ward type barrier spells and challenges like the ones set up by the professors to guard the sorcerer’s stone. It was going to be like that, right?

 

Only she fervently hoped that there wasn’t a Voldemort operative waiting for him…

 

Crookshanks was uneasy when she returned to Gryffindor Tower. He leapt on her shoulder and sniffed at her hair. Growling at her hair…

 

Hermione frowned, hadn’t Viktor plucked a beetle from her hair? There had been beetles in odd places all year…

 

Was it possible that Skeeter was an unregistered Animagus like Peter?

 

Hermione removed Crookshanks from her shoulder and stared at him. “Are you trying to tell me that there is another animagus around?”

 

Crookshanks meowed and headbutted her hand.

 

Hermione snickered, “Good boy. You catch her and bring her to me. If you sense anymore of those always let me know. I’ll have to order you special cat treats for this!”

 

Crookshanks just purred.

 

Hermione smirked, she’d teach that nosy beetle a lesson! No one called her a two-timing gold-digger obsessed with seducing rich, famous wizards! Viktor was practically engaged anyway…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione wasn’t exactly surprised when Crookshanks met her outside of Ancient Runes with a stunned, slightly injured beetle in his maw.

 

Hermione scooped him up, nuzzling his head while praising him. He caught them a nosy reporter…

 

Hermione slipped away, up to Gryffindor Tower where she pulled out an unbreakable+ jar that she had charmed as a beetle habitat and cast a healing spell on the stunned animagus before placing it in the jar.

 

Eventually the beetle ‘woke up’ only to find Hermione had cast a ward to prevent her from being able to turn back into herself.

 

Hermione smirked at the beetle. “Hello there Miss Skeeter!”

 

The beetle stiffened.

 

“You see my familiar has a gift for sniffing out illegal animagi. You really shouldn’t have been on my person after the Second Task and mentioning an invitation to visit Viktor’s family.” She acquired a wicked grin, “You are very far off the mark. I have no interest in Viktor or Harry; Harry is like my brother while Viktor is a wizard I respect. Now, you’ll stay in there and think about what you’d done. My parents would call this ‘time out’. You will remain in there until I believe you have contemplated your choices. One more thing, _Ms. Skeeter_ if you ever target Harry with your quick quotes quill to write slanderous and libellous stories again, I will be turning my memories of your illegal animagus form over to the Aurors.”

 

The beetle shrieked and backed away to the farthest corner of the jar.

 

Hermione then cast a spell to make it impossible for Skeeter to hear or see anything outside the jar before burying it in her trunk.

 

XooooooX

 

The day of the Third Task arrived and Harry was suffering from the jitters, something that Hermione was familiar with having seen his face Quidditch matches and the first task. She did her best to be encouraging but she was worried when McGonagall let him away after breakfast without informing her or Ron what was going on.

 

It had been hours since she had seen him.

 

Their last exam was Care of Magical Creatures but Hagrid had decided to give him full marks without attending.

 

Probably because of the Tournament but Hermione was more worried about where Harry was even if he was _probably_ safe with McGonagall.

 

The task was far later than the previous ones beginning at six in the evening rather than one in the afternoon.

 

Hermione was surprised when she and the rest of Gryffindor were joined by Mrs. Weasley and Bill who had kept his ambiguous promise to show up at Hogwarts.

 

Something even Charlie hadn’t really mentioned…

 

Hermione had always felt uneasy with Mrs. Weasley and kept her distance, preferring Neville’s comforting silence to the loud brashness of the Weasley clan.

 

Eventually Harry as well as the other Champions appeared and Bagman welcomed them to the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament and in that drawling, annoying way of his explained the goal of the task.

 

Hermione wrung her hands, worrying for Harry was a common occurrence since they became friends.

 

A whistle blew, Harry and Cedric entered together and vanished into shadowy depths.

 

Then began the anxious waiting.

 

XooooooX

 

There came a bell-like charm after the sparks that let them know that at least one champion had retired from the Task and then abruptly the hedge walls of the maze began to crumble.

 

The exterior walls dissolving into a pile of leaves and splintered branches first until an ice encased person appeared, then a male in a Durmstrang jersey appeared to be under the petrificus totalus.

 

Hermione began to panic when she realized that Harry and Cedric were _missing_.

 

The adults soon seemed uneasy as they searched the remains of the maze and the creatures were retrieved while the spells were removed.

 

Delacour and Viktor were pulled from the rooms and seemingly handed off to healers’, they wore pins on their robes of a bone crossed with a wand.

 

Off duty Aurors or other members of magical law enforcement were usually picked out a crowd because of a crossed sword and wand. Solicitors were recognized by pins of golden scales, potion masters by platinum cauldrons. Not all professions were as clearly noticeable…

 

Hermione’s fingers were clawing her arms, where was Harry?

 

She fetted and then just as suddenly as his absence was discovered, he appeared clutching a body, Cedric’s and Hermione could hear him talking about how Voldemort was back.

 

A chill ran down her spine.

 

Her fears were realized…

 

Eventually, Moody led Harry off while Dumbledore argued with Fudge.

 

Neither Hermione or the Weasleys had been allowed near Harry after he reappeared.

 

Hermione slipped away, she hoped for Charlie’s sake that Viktor was alright. Was he here? He hadn’t been sitting with his family, so was he with Viktor’s?

 

Hermione wasn’t anyone’s lover but she could worry for her friends…

 

Hermione wasn’t a real girl and she wasn’t a boy either but something in between. She wanted a lover, even a boyfriend but the idea of being physically intimate even just kissing seemed too dangerous.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione wasn’t allowed to see Harry at all until the next day.

 

Finding out that their Defence professor had been impersonated by an Azkaban escapee, they probably meddled with the Goblet of Fire to put Harry’s name in, that they turned the Triwizard Cup into a portkey and had attacked Harry was infuriating.

 

If Hogwarts was supposed to be so safe, why was all this dangerous stuff like Voldemort invading the castle with operatives happening?

 

Returning to the Muggle world felt safer for her, Hermione was usually at home studying or with her mother. Her mother was helpful when it came to shopping and making she that she wasn’t misgendered.

 

Hermione knew that things weren’t so good for Harry with his relatives, they just had to do what she could.

 

How Harry would take seeing someone killed in front of him, Hermione could only guess.

 

The only thing Hermione wasn’t looking forward to was sharing a room with Ginny or hiding her body in a house with only two bathrooms and nine people again.

 

 

  
 

 


	8. She - Hermione pt 4

 

 

Harry arrived looking weary, thin and exhausted.

 

He was probably having nightmares about Cedric. Hermione could understand that, she had nights about Harry being tortured magically by Voldemort before being killed himself. A secret worry…

 

Being named prefect wouldn’t have been so awful if Ron hadn’t be crowing about all summer while his mother praised him and his twin brothers sulked. Apparently, Bill, Percy and Ron were ‘everyone in the family’.

 

Charlie’s lack of prefect status but serving as House Captain before Oliver was either close enough or he didn’t really matter either…

 

Poor Charlie, no wonder he didn’t want to introduce Viktor to his family…

 

As flattering as the invitation was, Hermione hadn’t accepted because it didn’t feel right after Viktor was Imperioed to Crucio Cedric as well as nearly kill Delacour. Viktor deserved to spend time with his family and not have her presence clouding things.

 

Ron being prefect was stupid; she may have a crush on him to her own embarrassment but he didn’t do the work. Harry had better marks then Ron did, if they were giving badge out to the most responsible and the most academic record it ought to have been Dean not Ron.

 

Even Harry would have been a more reasonable choice…

 

Hermione was not looking forward to being a prefect _with_ Ron but being prefect aside from that pleased her.

 

XooooooX

 

So, it had been weird leaving Harry behind with Ginny to settle in the prefects carriage, she could only hope at the time that harry would find them a carriage when they arrived at the last minute this time.

 

Finding Harry in a compartment with Ginny, Neville and an odd-blonde with flying hair, strange glasses and an upside-down **Quibbler** was unexpected. **The Quibbler** was a wizarding tabloid with ridiculous outlandish stories, conspiracy theories and clearly imaginary creatures.

 

Ginny introduced the strange girl as ‘Luna Lovegood’.

 

Hermione instantly became uneasy, there was something strangely familiar about this girl. An almost kinship…

 

Hermione was terrified by it and didn’t restrain herself as she argued with Lovegood, being a Ravenclaw and in Ginny’s year, clearly their paths wouldn’t cross much.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione had learned the painful lesson of the consequences of not trusting her intuition; Harry was attacked by a professor.

 

Their new defence text was a bunch of drivelling nonsense, it wasn’t worth cost of the ink or paper used to print it. A very painful thing for a bibliophile to admit about any book.

 

Between her ‘welcome speech’ and the first lesson, Hermione had decided she’d had enough.

 

Prefect badge or no prefect badge, she was going to teach these Hogwarts students a lesson in civil disobedience. They were going to learn defence and a list of those spells that she’d made with Harry to prepare for the Third Task were going to help.

 

If Umbridge wouldn’t teach them Defence, then she’d encourage Harry to do so.

 

One, her beloved friend needed to confidence; two, his reputation would not only bring students in but convince them to let him teach them- eventually and three, Cho would definitely come and it would be what Harry needed to realize he was definitely gay.

 

Ron would bully his way into being an assistant but Defence wasn’t exactly his best subject; did their friend have one? It was hard to be sure with his lacklustre marks and effort…

 

Hermione knew they needed to have competent skills in defence because she _knew_ Voldemort was out there and their OWL exams were in spring.

 

That should at least bring the Ravenclaws…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione’s first person that she invited was Neville, he needed these lessons the most and she was sure to tell him this. Well, to tell him that he was her first invite to a meeting in Hogsmeade. She passed him a note on the way to Herbology, she did feel a bit guilty about having him cursed with the petrificus totalus all night. She was certain that he just needed some encouragement...

 

Ginny wasn’t long after and _she_ promised to invite Michael and his friends. That saved her the hassle.

 

Hermione wasn’t sure who all would come but she hoped it was a large enough group to make an impact.

 

Of course, she told Fred and George, this sort of rule-breaking might appeal to them…

 

She led Harry into **The Hogs Head** while trying to convince him this was for the best.

 

Hermione was not expecting Neville and Luna to be among the first to arrive, nor did she expect them to come together.

 

Once she was sure that no one else was coming and Fred ordered them butterbeers before bullying everyone to pay their share, Hermione called the meeting to order after a fashion.

 

They were reticent at first but she slowly brought them around; people like Zacharias were only there to find out how Cedric died but Ernie, his house mate and her fellow prefect convinced them that they needed this to pass their OWL exam.

 

Everyone did sign her list of interested students and unknowingly agreed to the tongue-lying curse and a spell of her own creation that would give them nasty pustules that spelled out sneak.

 

It was similar to how Umbridge’s nasty blood quill had etched into Harry’s skin ‘I will not tell lies’. Hermione loathed that pink draped toad, but she kept a supply of murlap tentacles because of her own self-harm history and shared it with Harry.

 

Thank Godric, Harry didn’t question why she had it. She recommended it to the twins, with George passing it on to the younger students like the Creeveys.

 

In Gryffindor, having a blood quill created scar was a badge of honour.

 

Hermione didn’t really understand, but maybe it was a guy thing?

 

XooooooX

 

Harry felt like her, not a girl but that he liked boys too…

 

She wanted him to explore with Cho not because Harry really liked her but to find out, without being told, that he didn’t like girls.

 

Her suspicions regarding Harry’s sexual preference was partly why she pushed Ginny to give up.

 

Hermione couldn’t tell Harry about herself or his very probably sexuality, it was up to him…

 

She was surprised when he showed her spells that she’d never heard of and then introduced them the D.A.

 

Calling their defence club Dumbledore’s Army was only to bit her thumb at the Ministry and Umbridge. She was not a loyal Dumbledore pet, actually she was terrified of the Headmaster…

 

Sometimes on very bad days, Hermione could still feel his hand on her and how horrible it was. The words were worse than when they were touched…

 

Hermione always wore long sleeves…

 

The necklace with the glamour charm her father paid for to give her the physical appearance of a teenage girl helped some but it was _fake._

 

Hermione was having a horrible day, Miss Gracie and her Psychologist would say her dysphoria was really bad.

 

Even months, later Harry never asked why she was familiar with murlap…

 

Her parents would be so upset because Hermione had a secret that she kept from everyone but especially them…

 

It was that sometimes, she used her potions knife on herself…

 

She was always careful and it wasn’t because she was suicidal, just the days that her dormmates were all on their menstrual cycle made it worse for her emotionally and mentally.

 

Hermione didn’t have a vagina, much less a uterus, so she couldn’t have babies or even menstruate like a _real_ girl.

 

The cutting let out some of the pain…

 

Cutting them off wouldn’t help and it would just expose her, so Hermione limited her cuts to her left upper forearm. It was a good thing that Ron had the emotional range of a teaspoon because that just meant that she hadn’t a chance in hell.

 

Would anyone be interested in her? Hermione doubted it…

 

Unlike her roommates, Hermione’s chest stayed flat…

 

She didn’t have a woman’s body, it was all a lie… her life was a lie…

 

XooooooX

 

When Harry informed that he was going to begin patronus lessons after Valentine’s day, Hermione had already read everything she could find on them.

 

That an animagus form and a corporeal patronus usually took the same form. That they were a reflection of some essence of the witch or wizard that cast them or at least held some sort of special meaning.

 

So when Hermione’s emerged from her wand as a sleek otter, she didn’t immediately think of weasels or even Ottery St. Catchpole.

 

Rather she thought about the various interpretations…

 

**The otter has a vibrant soul. They are fun-loving and adventurous in nature, and this can be taken many ways. They can be extroverted in this way and go out to explore nature, and in these cases, they very often will gravitate toward water. Contrary to this, they can be more introverted in their passion and using their imaginations to come up with stories, or just merely think up ventures they wish they could really go on. They are fairly emotional, and have a hard time hiding this. The most common house for an otter patronus is Ravenclaw. The most common signs are Aries and Aquarius.**

 

Hermione was a September baby and actually a Virgo. She was only a Gryffindor because she had been determined to be her authentic self; a girl.

 

**An Otter animagus was an inner wish to live a well-rounded life. A wish to be playful, to have a joyful nature, likes games of all sorts, to bring laughter wherever they go, that one must let go of the need to control and surrender to fate. Otter aids the individual in search of joyful expression in life and promotes a harmony between pure play and skillful provision.**

 

Again, not quite an expected meaning…

 

In a book on reflections of animagi and relationships Hermione remembered reading:

 

**You’re empathetic, and emotionally intelligent to the point where you can read what the other person is feeling within seconds.**

 

She could live with that…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione had been studying in the common room when Harry ran into the Tower and tore up the stairs to the tower, in a panic.

 

He’d just come from his divination exam…

 

He couldn’t have done that terribly, could he?

 

Hermione had mere moments before she needed to leave for her Ancient Runes exam but when Ron raced in after Harry, she followed.

 

They both entered the dormitory that Harry shared with Ron, Dean, Seamus and Neville to see him vanishing with Dobby.

 

Hermione eeped after checking the time, she had to run to her exam. Of course, she was worried about why Harry felt the need to leave so suddenly. Had he had a dream about Sirius like he had about Mr. Weasley?

 

She would probably regret it later but she left Ron with the idea to of having Winky take a message to Dobby or Harry to figure out what was going on.

 

She couldn’t afford to be late an exam…

 

It wasn’t mean to be cruel or unfeeling, Hermione just panicked in the face of an exam…

 

XooooooX

 

It was bad enough having to realise that Ron didn’t see her as a woman without knowing her secret but knowing a _real_ girl was carrying Ron’s daughter was tearing her heart apart.

 

Lavender, did have to be Lavender? Lavender had perfect hair, perfect breasts and she was a _real_ girl…

 

Hell, she was the only not affected girl in their dormitory. Probably, because she wasn’t a real girl and no one was attracted to her. Likely, because they somehow knew she wasn’t a real girl…

 

Just one more thing being born with this body was costing her…

 

Ron was the only boy she was really close enough to to consider having feelings for even if they were foolish or one-sided.

 

XooooooX

 

It was upsetting that Harry had gotten married without her…

 

It was painful that her best friend didn’t trust her…

 

Ron’s revelation of his homophobia terrified her, she was even more determined to cut ties with him. What if Ron learned her secret? She worried that would make him violent…

 

Despite Harry being pregnant and married to a boy, Hermione still couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth about herself…

 

But she felt more alone then ever…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione was slowly rebuilding her relationship with Harry, she sent to boxes of gifts for himself and his sons.

 

Her mother knew and remembered that Hermione didn’t have a girl’s body but they still warned her that she should focus on school first. That it was likely harder than she was imagining…

 

Being a transsexual girl, babies of her own were impossible…

 

That didn’t mean Hermione didn’t want them…

 

Hermione doubted that same sex pregnancy was possible aside from the Lilithean, she wanted to be a girl so badly and was afraid that if she was caught with any books related to gender or sexuality she would be clocked.

 

They didn’t have sex ed classes in the magical world! Hermione wasn’t mourning that Ron hadn’t loved her but rather than she would ever find someone to love her.

 

 

 


	9. They and Fae pt5

 

Neville and Luna did their best to adjust to being parents. Neville had found that despite their touch aversion, there was some sort of exception for their sons.

 

Luna was so naturally motherly, that faer dark moon days were less frequent as faer body matronized. Was that the right word? It took some assistance for faer nipples to be nursable but Neville helped stimulate them.

 

Luna was a beautiful mother, they were so proud of their little family.

 

While it would be difficult to balance twins and school, they had little choice. Gran was not up from a third go around at parenting and Luna’s father was a bit touched…

 

XooooooX

 

They were sitting in Defence class when Professor Snape… er Prince-Lupin made an announcement.

 

Terry Bott was transferring into their classes, they were genderfluid and had permission to use whatever bathroom felt right. Terry even had special pronouns; ze, zir and zirs…

 

That was awesome, it made Neville feel a bit less of an outsider.

 

Aside from Mandy who liked to shame and complain, the others were welcoming. Lavender and Pavarti even promised to escort zir to the girls’ loo and look out for zir when ze needed them.

 

Lavender was a far better person then a git like Ron deserved.

 

XooooooX

 

Luna was always making something…

 

Or sketching, art was something that they had in common but using actual beads was unusual.

 

Neville silently watched the progression from a pile of varying shades of purple and green beads to an actual necklace.

 

There were three white beads that faer hand panted with the words: ze, zir and zirs…

 

It was for Terry, a visual reminder of the shy Ravenclaw’s preferred pronouns.

 

Perhaps, something that Neville should consider for them…

 

XooooooX

 

“So, how was your girls’ night?” Neville asked Luna the morning after the girls’ night at Lavender’s.

 

“It was wonderful, I’m so glad you told me about Terry. I started a new tradition!” Luna said airily.

 

“Oh?”

 

“We turned it into a surprise coming out party.”

 

“So, that’s why you made that pronoun necklace for Terry…” Neville mused.

 

Luna swallowed, “I did a bad thing though…”

 

“Oh, what was that?”

 

“I sort of mentioned you were Ace to Terry,” Luna blurted out. “But I wasn’t specific!”

 

Neville groaned, “Godric’s sword, why?”

 

“Ze felt uneasy, I didn’t get to tell zir about me. I wish I had…”

 

“There is nothing wrong with you.”

 

“We’re just lucky I was raised female despite being you know…” Luna said sadly.

 

“You were raised neutrois until _you_ decided you were a girl. You told me that…” Neville said exasperated.

 

“Given Dumbledore’s gender binary expectations and narrow view of sexuality, it could have been a lot worse…” Luna sighed.

 

“We both know I don’t like people much, most of the time I can’t handle being touched.”

 

“I know, that’s because you have Asperger’s on top of being Ace…” Luna said kindly. “You know when you want it, I am willing to touch you where and when you want…”

 

They weren’t exactly a balanced couple, but they knew when to bend for the other. Their attraction had been kept to themselves but it had grown in the DA meetings as well as other interactions such as when Neville saved her from being bullied or comforted her on dark moon days.

 

With the exception of Neville’s learning how to be the Head of the Longbottom family and their need to negotiate an intimate relationship with Luna, they had many heart-to-hearts.

 

Neville had worried that their touch aversion would make parenting and caring for their sons difficult but they had exceptions.

 

Neville was more likely to insist on cuddling Luna then to let faer cuddle them. It would likely be more difficult when Lorcan and Lysander were older but they managed.

 

“Were they good? Did they go down alright? How did they sleep?” Luna asked in faer usual nervous torrent of words.

 

Neville smiled to themself, they found Luna’s nervousness adorable, “They were fine, they went down just fine. Slept a bit longer than usual, but were content to sleep in the bassinet next to our bed.”

 

During the day, their bed was a single object but it separated depending on where Neville fell on their touch aversion scale.

 

Luna was used to cuddling pillows anyway, though it was nice when Neville was comfortable enough to hold faer.

 

Neville sighed, “Come here…”

 

Luna swallowed, “Are you sure?”

 

Neville grumbled, “Get over here before I change my mind.”

 

Luna curled up in Neville’s lap, fae was surprised when Neville wrapped faer up in their arms.

 

“I forgive you. It would probably help Terry if we came out. Then they wouldn’t feel so isolated.”

 

“Alright. If you’re sure.”

 

“I’ll probably have an anxiety attack about being ‘out’ but Terry shouldn’t have to be alone…”

 

Luna smiled to faerself, fae really lucked out falling for Neville.

 

While being assigned male at birth, Neville was demisexual. They had a squish on Luna but it wasn’t sexual most of the time. Luna was okay with that, having a neuter body because it wasn’t either exclusively male or female, fae sometimes had issues with being sexual because fae didn’t feel very attractive. Luna had a vagina but faer phallus was more prick-like than clitoris. Fae barely had any natural breasts before being pregnant that is, but since Lorcan and Lysander were conceived, Luna had been feel noticing faer body femininizing more. How temporary or permanent the change was they didn’t know, but it helped Luna feel more fem…

 

Sometimes faer dysphoria was bad because fae didn’t feel fem enough…

 

In fact, Luna had worried that fae weren’t physically fem enough to conceive. Being pregnant had been such a miracle for faer because they never menstruated. Being out of Ravenclaw tower made being faerself easier because they didn’t have to fake menstruating.

 

Holding Luna, Neville felt like it was a touch day. Some non-binary people had alternate gender days, Neville had touch days. They couldn’t often be sexual because of their sons’ needs, schoolwork or because they didn’t feel comfortable with it.

 

“If I were to have a touch day… would you be okay with that?”

 

Luna blushed, hiding her face with her hair, “Touch me day or touch you day?”

 

“I don’t know yet…” Neville admitted slowly.

 

Luna tilted faer face up to theirs, “Start slow. I’m in a good place, I know if it’s too much for you then you will stop and I promise I understand.”

 

“What did I do to deserve you?”

 

“You saved me…”

 

Neville blushed, “Oh, right…”

 

They had saved Luna from being bullied and let her cry on their robes, it took Luna a while to learn not to just hug them when fae met them. They rarely held hands, Luna tied a ribbon to faer wrist and let Neville hold the ribbon. It had started in reverse but they preferred it this way instead…

 

Once Luna learned their usual boundaries, fae was so nice and thoughtful. That’s why they started to feel a squish on faer.

 

Neville lightly brushed their lips together and felt Luna moan softly…

 

“I won’t touch your skin but can I…”

 

“You can touch my shirt.” Neville offered.

 

Luna smiled at them shyly, “Alright.”

 

Neville resumed their kissing of their wife, Luna was a girl and fae loved being called their girl or their wife.

 

Neville’s hands trembled as they slowly unbuttoned Luna’s blouse and caressed her silk covered breasts. They were small and sensitive, even more so sensitive since Lorcan and Lysander began to nurse.

 

Luna closed faer eyes and let them touch faer body. “It feels so good when you touch me…I feel like a girl…”

 

“You are a girl…” Neville said kissing faer neck.

 

It wasn’t often Luna got to experience a touch day, Neville was too stressed out after their bonding and it took a few days before Neville was ready. It was no one’s business but their own, yet Luna was hopeful that no one knew. Fae would hate to get Neville in trouble with their Gran, how much Dowager Lady Augusta Longbottom knew about Luna, fae didn’t know.

 

Neville preferred front clasp brasseries because then they could _see_ to remove them.

 

It had taken a bit before their boys could latch on because fae’s breasts weren’t quite right but when Neville touched them, Luna went liquid.

 

Neville wasn’t sure how far they could go but Luna’s acquiesce to their needs was making them less uneasy and more sure that this was what they wanted.

 

Luna lifted faer hips when Neville tugged at faer skirt, fae knew that Neville referred not to use magic in bed because they weren’t confident to control it.

 

Laying half in their lap with faer’s brassier and blouse open while only faer silk knickers hid what most often cause Luna’s dysphoria.

 

“May I?”

 

Luna’s voice trembled, “I feel pretty and fem today… I’m your girl so you can touch me…”

 

Neville nodded, kissing faer before caressing Luna through faer knickers, they were already slightly damp. Luna was easily aroused when fae was in the mood if fae was just trying to comfort them it took longer. It wasn’t often that Luna wasn’t interested, only on the rare occasion when Neville’s touch day wound up on a bad dysphoria day. Which happened like once…

 

Neville was always slow and gentle, not because Luna was breakable but because they felt that fae deserved to be treated with respect.

 

Being intersexed didn’t matter to them at all, Luna was and would always be the most beautiful girl in the world to them. Fae was sweet and kind, fae was the first to pick up on their preferred pronouns, something no one else had done. Not even Oliver…

 

Neville removed Luna’s clothes leaving faer bare in their lap, they caressed faer soft skin from breast to faer’s warm, wetness.

 

Luna had the only body they had ever wanted to see, fae was their goddess and when they were having touch days they wanted nothing more than to worship.

 

Luna always felt beautiful when Neville touched faer, Neville never saw faer as less than a real girl. If it wasn’t faer breasts, it was their… pearl causing faer dysphoria. It wasn’t quite right, it looked more like Neville’s then what a girl ought to have. Neville never called what was between faer legs anything but beautiful, they never shied away from it as if disgusted. When Neville had to stop, they ended up crying because they were afraid hurting faer’s feelings.

 

Neville preferred to be intimate with their hands, it was their way of joining with Luna. They always tried to be able to make faer feel beautiful and whole. Kissing faer neck, Neville caressed the head of faer pearl, it was peaking out like a clitoris should and circled faer well.

 

“If you want…inside… please…”

 

Neville pressed a finger inside faer and was rewarded with a cry of pleasure. Fae was tender here and they had to be so gentle, preparing faer thoroughly because they were a bit thick.

 

Soon their fingers were wet and thrusting into Luna’s body, “You look so beautiful like this Luna…”

 

“Neville… curl…” Luna begged.

 

Neville curled their fingers, caressing the warm wet silk inside Luna. “Tell me what you need Luna…”   


“Kiss me…?’ Luna gasped.

 

Neville did so but kept stimulating Luna until fae came.

 

Luna took their wrist by the sleeve and slowly licked faer taste from their fingers; first one hand, then the other.

 

“May I try touching you?”

 

“No,” Neville said gruffly.

 

“Okay…” Luna smiled tiredly.

                                       

“Can you… are you loose enough?” Neville blurted out.

 

Luna beamed up at them, “I would very much like to feel you inside me. It’s okay if it’s too much. Giving myself to you makes me feel very happy.”

 

Neville rearranged faer so fae was in their lap, undoing their trousers and pulling out their prick. Then they lifted Luna and felt faer warm velvet embrace of their prick.

 

Luna gasped as fae felt the rare but welcome feeling as Neville pressed into faer body. When they could physically join, it was a perfect fit…

 

Neville slowly rocked up into Luna, fae was more interested in sex than they were but it felt amazing to be inside faer. They moved together but Luna’s choice let them stay in control of their intimacy meant a lot.

 

Once Neville came, they picked up Luna and carried faer upstairs where they undressed and went to shower before Lorcan and Lysander work up.

 

Luna seemed blissfully happy and content in their arms. It was unlikely that faer’s infrequent dysphoria would creep up on faer today.

 

XooooooX

 

A few days after Terry was transferred to Neville’s classes, Luna approached Hogwarts’ Mind Healer. “Hi!”

 

“Hello, Madam Luna Lovegood, isn’t it?”

 

Luna nodded, “See I had this idea…”

 

“What sort of idea?”

 

“I think we need a support group/club for us non-binaries.”

 

“Who would come…?” the mind healer looked curious.

 

“Me, Neville and Terry but I’m sure that others will come,” Luna said brightly. “I’m pretty sure I know at least one more… maybe two. Some of us wouldn’t be ready to come out like Terry has but Neville and I will. But we all need some place we can be treated right. With proper pronouns and respect.”

 

“It’s a wonderful idea. I will discuss it with Headmaster Flitwick.”

 

A shadow crossed Luna’s face, “We have a long way to go before we can erase all the awful things that Dumbledore did or allowed.”

 

“Are you seeing someone?” the mind healer was clearing referring to their profession of course.

 

Luna nodded, “Healer Ted… I probably should see them soon but I’m feeling good. I don’t know if I ever want to really change myself but most days I’m okay.”

 

“We should set this up soon.”

 

“the sooner the better, we shouldn’t have to hide or have it seem to be acceptable for us to be bullied…” Luna said sadly. “Terry is really lucky to have someone like Michael, I don’t think anyone would _dare_ bully him. He’s very protective…”

 

Then Luna skipped away.

 

Fae was certain that Headmistress Rowena and Headmistress Aurelia would be proud of her…

 

 


	10. She- Hermione pt5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry discovers Hermione secret, Professor Charlie tries to connect with Hermione while Harry tries to talk Hermione in an NB support club...

 

Hermione tried to get a baby fix by helping Harry and Draco sometimes so they could study…

 

Seeing Orion or Scorpius in the things she made them broke her heart every time and those were the days she used her knife on herself.

 

She was alone in the 6th year girls’ dormitory, she had no friends in Gryffindor anymore.

 

A pregnant Ginny was angry at the world and wouldn’t even speak to her.

 

Ron was angry at her and Harry for not accepting Lavender when the git didn’t even want her!

 

Every day was more painful than the last and a reminder of what she could never have…

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione was undressing for her shower in the downstairs bathroom of Harry and Draco’s apartment when Harry burst.

 

“Sorry Mione I have to,”

 

Unfortunately, Hermione was facing the mirror.

 

Their flat chest and unwanted _thing_ was _seen_ …

 

Hermione screamed, crumbling…

 

To make things worse, Draco tried to come in showing up because she was screaming and Harry was standing there in shock.

 

Harry recovered and growled, “Get out!” slamming the door in his husband’s face while Hermione sobbed.

 

Hermione had been so careful…

 

If she hadn’t been petrified, then no one would know…

 

Now Harry, her only friend knew…

 

“Mione look at me…”

 

“I can’t…” she wailed. “You know! You know my secret!”

 

“Mione, I’m still your friend. I’m a little confused but you have to explain it to me. I thought you were a girl…” Harry said quietly.

 

“I am…” Hermione sobbed. “I am! I am! It’s just the outside doesn’t match my inside…”

 

“Is this why you’re not friends with any girls? And why you act so weird around Ginny during the summer?”

 

“No one can know… have to be stealth…” Hermione gasped between body wracking sobs. “I don’t want to lose my magic!”

 

“How can,” Harry paused struggling, “being a girl like you, get you expelled?

 

“Dumbledore,”

 

“He isn’t here anymore. This isn’t his school. I won’t tell anyone…”

 

“Not even Draco?” Hermione sniffed.

 

“Not unless it was strictly necessary.” Harry promised. “So, you’re saying that you have a girl brain and a boy body?”

 

Hermione flinched.

 

“Merlin Hermione, I don’t know how to explain this. You have teach me. What are you, how do you explain this, I have so many questions…”

 

“Please let me dress first. Make Draco leave and I will try…”

 

Harry kissed the top of her head, “I can do that.”

 

Hermione washed her face and got dressed. Waiting until she could no longer hear a complaining Draco before cracking the loo door open.

 

“The git,” Harry said exasperatedly. “This is all his fault you know, the poncy bastard hogs the loo forever, I had to go so badly that,” Harry paused wringing his hands, “I embarrassed you…”

 

Hermione curled up in an arm chair and wrapped her arms around herself.

 

“When did you know that you weren’t a boy?”

 

“Forever… I wanted to be a princess and wear pretty things. My parents were awesome, they found me a psychologist who warned them that if they forced me to be…” her voice choked, “a boy, I would probably commit suicide by puberty. That wasn’t okay with them… but it’s really hard. This was the first school I ever went to… you were my first friend. I had special lessons after I was bullied for being a boy in girl’s clothes at a ballet class.”

 

“That’s awful… I was bullied for being small, pretty and magical…” Harry admitted sadly. “I wish I’d known….”

 

“I couldn’t tell anyone…I was so scared that first night that I wasn’t girl enough but when the dormitory let me in, I was almost in tears. The Sorting Hat said that my determination to be my real self, was why it was putting me in Gryffindor. Had I been less courageous, it would have made me a Ravenclaw…” Hermione’s word poured out in a torrent.

 

“You’re a girl Hemione. I don’t care what your body looks like, you’ve always been my best friend who is a girl.” Harry said gently.

 

Hermione burst into tears again. “I was so scared you would hate me for lying to you and stop being my friend….”

 

“Hermione after you stood by me during the Heir stuff and forgave me for being bullied to side with Ron over the Scabbers-Crookshanks thing plus helped me during the tournament, how could I abandon you? You didn’t lie, you are a girl. How did you put it?” Harry scratched his head, “Your outside doesn’t match your inside?”

 

Hermione nodded.

 

“Come here…” Harry held out his arms.

 

Timidly, Hermione joined him on the couch.

 

Harry pulled her into a hug, “You’re a girl, you’re my best friend and I’ll hex anyone even Draco who disagrees with any of it.”

 

Hermione was crying happy tears now.

 

“You’ll still be _godmother_ to my first girl, right?” Harry grinned cheekily.

 

“I’ll hex anyone who tries to take my place.”

 

“Good,” Harry said before demanding chocolate from Dobby, then he

 

Her friend frowned, “Are you so anti-house elf because you think they are brainwashed into being slaves? Could it have something to do with your being afraid of being mistreated the way you think they were because they aren’t human?

 

Hermione blushed, hanging her head.

 

“I don’t think they are… I think Dobby is just like you. Special and different. So please don’t try to bully my house elves about how they ought to want to be free.” Harry begged.

 

Hermione laughed and promised not to but he had to agree to free any house elf that wanted to be. Harry agreed as long as she promised not to torment anyone with S.P.E.W.

 

XooooooX

 

Soon after Harry found out her secret, Hermione met Charlie in passing.

 

She rarely spoke to him outside of classes.

 

“Ah, Hermione I have been meaning to speak with you. Walk with me?”

 

“Alright.”

 

Charlie blushed, “Can you cast a privacy charm?”

 

Hermione suspected this request had something to do with Charlie’s surprise pregnancy.

 

Once it was cast, Charlie blurted out, “Do you like girls?”

 

Hermione gaped at him, “What? No!” she blushed, “I like boys…”

 

Charlie frowned, “I’m sorry… I’ve only been out since Viktor proposed and he asked my grandfather’s permission.” He blushed, “I was still under Septimus’ authority and I am a younger son… I must have misunderstood. I thought you were very smart and shy during the Tournament. Harry treated you like a sister and was probably too blinded by that to consider asking you to go as friends. Ron… he has unrealistic expectations of witches.”

 

“Tell me about it…” Hermione muttered.

 

“Anyway, I only meant it as a compliment. You were friends with Harry and didn’t care he was famous. You were smart and I was nearly certain you didn’t have a crush on Viktor. I had asked him to be kind…”

 

“Viktor was a very nice date, very courteous but I knew he was yours. I think the reason Ron’s slandering of Viktor upset me so much was because he was your brother. Here I was filling in for you and he was saying all these terrible things about Viktor. Viktor who had asked whom you would trust to accompany him to the Ball and you recommended me. I didn’t know you noticed me.”

 

“Maybe someday you’ll trust me enough to explain why I thought I could trust you…”

 

Hermione flinched, “Maybe…”

 

Having Harry and Dumbledore knowing her secret was terrifying enough.

 

“Just letting you know, I understand a little about keeping secrets.”

 

“We’ll see…”

 

“Alright then, see you in class Miss Granger.”

 

“Bye Charlie,” Hermione said absently as Charlie waved goodbye.

 

XooooooX

 

Hermione kept to herself…

 

Rarely interacting with her fellow yearmates outside of Harry…

 

Hermione dithered about attending the first meeting of the Pendulum club…

 

But after Harry discovered her secret, she agreed reluctantly _if_ Draco didn’t come.

 

So, Draco was watching Scorpius and Orion while the two of them attended the meeting.

 

The room was a transformed empty classroom near the mind healer’s office.

 

“Alright, welcome! This was Luna’s idea so I want to give the floor to her.”

 

Luna glowered.

 

“Sorry, faer. Fae will tell you about Pendulum club.”

 

“Hi, my name is Luna. In here we’re safe to be ourselves. We charmed the door so unless you came with someone, you won’t remember who was here. This is a semi-anonymous group. Yes, I am a Ravenclaw. Yes, I am the bearer of two beautiful boys and I have the most understanding bonded. Yet, I was born intersex so I’m not physically a proper girl or a proper boy. Some of you might know I was bullied, this is why.”

 

There were gasps that were a mixture of horror, shock and outright anger.

 

So, that was why Hermione was frightened of Luna, she was afraid that she would clock her…

 

“My preferred pronouns are fae, faer and faers. I am a girl, in my head and in my heart, I am a girl. I am also a demi sexual if you don’t know that means then you should pick up a copy of the book on the sexuality spectrum before you leave.”

 

She... fae sat down and Neville rose.

 

“I’m Neville. I’m a demi boy, this means I have a non-binary gender identity. Sometimes I feel like a boy and other times, it felt like something other. My preferred pronouns are they, them and theirs. They are valid pronouns. Everyone’s pronouns are valid. My sexuality is no one’s business but ours. I don’t like to be touched most of the time; so, no hugs or handshakes. If you want my attention then talk to me, just don’t touch me…”

 

It was Terry Bott next, “I’m Terry, I am genderfluid so like Neville, I am non-binary. My gender identity ebbs and flows back and forth like a pendulum but I’m usually fem or fem-neutral. My sexuality is that I like wizards, but don’t call me straight, bent or flexible because I’m not that. Just because it might fit my identity now, doesn’t make it a proper label.”

 

Michael was next, “I’m Michael. Yes, I dated Ginny, bonded to her and we’re technically separated. I’m attracted to people who aren’t binary, that’s the best way to put it. I don’t have a name for that but it's who I am. Oh, and my pronouns are he, him and his.”

 

“Hi! I’m Harry, I’m _boring_. I’m just a boy, who likes a sexy dragon and my pronouns are the same as Michael’s!” Harry bounced on his chair beside her.

 

This made it Hermione’s turn…

 

Harry squeezed her hand.

 

“I’m Hermione… I’m trans,”

 

The room exploded.

 

Harry bolted to his feet, “SHUT UP! She’s Hermione, she’s always been Hermione and she is a GIRL! Her pronouns haven’t changed and I’ll hex anyone who says differently.”

 

“How did you manage? I mean I suspected something was special about you, but how? Attending as other than the gender you’re born as is supposed to be impossible.” Luna asked quietly.

 

“Harry found out not long about and before that was Dumbledore.” Hermione flinched.

 

Luna gave her a look of pained comradery, “Did he threaten to expel you if anyone found out too?”

 

“Yes?” Hermione whispered.

 

“WHAT!” Stephen Corner growled.

 

“The guidance from Flitwick was meant to insist that everyone is treated with respect.” Michael scowled at his twin. “Terry was very brave, we went to see Professor Flitwick together. He agreed that Dumbledore was _wrong_. Hermione was lucky that she was already living as a girl and Dumbledore didn’t know when she started. He drove another trans girl almost to suicide! She was anorexic and ended up transferring. He treated the metamorphs just as horribly, shaming them if their looks changed and worse if they changed genders.”

 

“So, you say…” Stephen muttered.

 

“Harry is right, Hermione is very brave. She didn’t have to come here and tell us her truth. Hermione is a girl, she has always been a girl. It is now safe for her to admit that she wasn’t born one,” Michael frowned, “That is what you meant to say… wasn’t it?”

 

“Yes?” Hermione whispered.

 

“My twin is an arse. I’m sorry about that.” Michael said kindly.

 

Luna cleared her throat, “Who is next?”

 

There were a few others such as Head Girl Giselle who admitted she was a she but she liked Millie…

 

Millicent introduced themselves as something called neutrois, they weren’t a boy or a girl but they had decided their preferred pronouns were Ne, Nim and Nir. Although, they hadn’t chosen a neutral name at present or decided they wanted one.

 

The list continued on.

 

Hermione was about to leave with Harry when a note was pressed into her hand by Luna.

 

**‘I know you won’t remember the meeting but join me for lunch soon. My body doesn’t match my heart right either.**

**Luna’**

 

Hermione’s eyes were wet as she mouthed a thank you…

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Oustanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


End file.
